Help prevent abuse of kids

It's something no parent wants to think about.

A trusted adult abuses a child. The most recent example involves soccer trainer Jason Dishman, charged Thursday with sexually assaulting a 15-year-old player he had once coached. Two soccer clubs for which he worked conducted regular background checks, and the man had no history of abuse.

He's hardly an isolated example. Priests and other clergy in Omaha and beyond have been charged with similar crimes. A Lincoln school bus driver was convicted of inappropriately touching a student. Teachers in Bloomfield and Lexington have been sentenced to years in prison for having relationships with their students.

So what can parents do?

Plenty, say local child advocates, church leaders and club sports officials.

“Parents aren't powerless,” said Mary Beth Hanus, victim assistance coordinator with the Omaha Archdiocese. “They know their kids best, and there are many ways that help prevent these types of problems from going too far.”

The first is to make sure the activity organizers are doing their part to hire responsible adults. The Nebraska State Soccer Association — which includes the Elkhorn and Omaha clubs where Dishman recently worked — requires anyone applying to work or volunteer for its member clubs to submit disclosure forms about their criminal history. If the applicant discloses a questionable history, the association runs a criminal background check.

In addition, the association twice a year randomly runs background checks on at least 5 percent of its employees and volunteers, said Jeff Hulbert, executive director of the Nebraska State Soccer Association. The group is planning fundraisers to expand the program.

Hulbert declined to answer other questions about the process in general and Dishman's background check in particular.

The process has kept a handful of coaches from being hired, said Rick Sedrel, president of the Eastern Nebraska Soccer Association.

Nebraska's volleyball governing body follows a similar but more stringent process. The Great Plains Regional Volleyball Association contracts with a national company to conduct criminal background checks on every employee and volunteer when they apply and at least every two years after that, said regional commissioner Sue Mailhot. The association has used the process for eight years and usually checks out 1,000 applicants a year. The process prevented only three applicants from being hired.

The YMCA of Greater Omaha also follows a similar procedure. It requires paid and volunteer coaches to submit to a background check looking for instances of child abuse, sexual offenses, violence and more on statewide, national and international levels.

“In this kind of environment, we can't take any chances,” said YMCA spokesman Jack Dill.

But — as the recent soccer incident suggests — background checks can't predict the future. Dishman's Douglas County record includes only a traffic-related incident from 1998.

That's where parents come in.

An important first step is to empower children to trust their instincts, said the archdiocese's Hanus. It's her job to help facilitate the hundreds of volunteers and staff who work with children in area churches and create as safe an environment as possible.

To teach children to recognize unhealthy behaviors and situations, the archdiocese uses a concept called the Circle of Grace, which urges children to be aware of what should and should not be inside their personal perimeter. If an adult does something that makes them uncomfortable, church leaders urge the child to tell a parent or a team of trusted adults.

Parents can teach their kids techniques to avoid assault. With some coaching, children can recognize inappropriate behavior — if an adult asks them to keep a secret, drink alcohol or look at pornography, for example. Such activities often happen before a physical assault.

When something does happen, children need to know it's safe to tell their parents or another authority figure. Once parents have the information, they can make the decision to tell an organizer or even law enforcement.

It's best for parents and children to talk about how to deal with the situations before they happen — and make promises to each other on how to handle the information, Hanus said.

“Maybe a parent will agree to not grill their child about the incident right away,” she said.

Children sometimes hide things because they're afraid their parents will get angry or perhaps an abuser has threatened them not to talk. That's where a bit of parental detective work comes in.

Boys Town developed a curriculum called “Ensuring a Safe Environment” that outlines signs of abuse. Social withdrawal, unexplained aggression toward others, bruising and flinching are all signs that a child might have been assaulted. The curriculum also includes tips to help providers respect children's rights and respect proper physical and emotional boundaries, as well as training methods for children to resist and report any inappropriate advances.

The best thing parents can do is pay close attention to their children, Hanus said. Any slight change in how a child acts should be taken seriously.

“Subtle changes in behavior can signal big problems,” she said. “You have to know your kid.”

Contact the writer:

444-1220, dane.stickney@owh.com

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