Dickson's week in review

Saturday was Senior Day in Lincoln. I'd like to clear up a misconception. Senior Day did not mean that Bill Snyder got a 30 percent discount at Golden Corral.

The 70-year-old Snyder is credited for adding some new wrinkles. Again, I'll pause while readers make up their own jokes.

Senior Day. It seems like only last week that one of NU's big-name senior receivers was on the scout team ... wait, it was last week.

Saturday night we said farewell to the seniors. And on Friday at Colorado we probably say farewell to Dan Hawkins.

The game was on ESPN. The wives of ESPN broadcasters love the Saturday night games just so they know where their husbands are.

Visiting NU prospects included Owamagbe Odighizuwa from Portland. Fingers crossed, this could be the name to send Brent Musburger into retirement.

There was one awkward moment. Shawn Watson looked up to the press box to see the sign Tom Osborne was holding telling him what to call. By mistake, Watson looked into Larry the Cable Guy's luxury box and tried to call “Git 'R Done.”

Former Kansas players claim that Mark Mangino had physical contact with them. If you're in the same room as Mangino, unless it's a very large room, you will have physical contact.

Tiger Woods served as an honorary captain for Stanford on Saturday vs. Cal. At halftime he was inducted into the Stanford Hall of Fame. Tiger has now received every honor Stanford offers except a diploma.

Reportedly, Ohio State coach Jim Tressel may enter politics. Tressel called the war in Afghanistan unwinnable. No, wait, he was talking about the Big Ten champion playing in the Rose Bowl.

The CEO of Domino's Pizza is the front-runner to be athletic director at Michigan. This means if the football team doesn't score a TD in the first 30 minutes, the tickets are free.

Three Tennessee Volunteers were arrested on suspicion of armed robbery, during which they allegedly wore team apparel. I don't know how police got the victim to identify the alleged culprits, but we can rule out viewing photos of the Southeastern Conference all-academic team.

During his team's win over Buffalo, the Titans' 86-year-old owner, Bud Adams, repeatedly made obscene gestures to the Bills sideline. Adams was sort of confused. At one point he ran across the field with a hose screaming to Buffalo, “You kids get out of my yard!”

I have a Thanksgiving prediction. When Jay Cutler is asked to pass the stuffing, the stuffing will be intercepted.

Chiefs fans signed an online petition asking the team to get rid of Larry Johnson. Buoyed by their success, Chiefs fans are circulating a new petition asking the team to score a touchdown.

Johnson signed with the first-place Bengals. Now the rest of the Chiefs players are starting online petitions asking the team to get rid of them.

To kick off college basketball season, ESPN broadcast a dozen consecutive games over 24 hours. With the holidays coming up and family commitments, I was only able to watch 11.

ESPN has since returned to normal programming — 24 hours a day of Brett Favre.

Nebraska basketball signed Andre Almeida from Arizona Western, who goes 6-foot-11 and 320 pounds. Normally this time of year when you hear those dimensions it's the National Christmas Tree arriving in Washington.

In his first collegiate game, John Wall hit the winning shot with 0.05 left on the clock to lift Kentucky over Miami (Ohio). Usually when you see the number 0.05, it's a story about the Iowa football team's average margin of victory.

Saturday Iowa beat Minnesota 12-0 to claim the bronze statue of a pig given to the winner of that game. Hey, Iowa fans, who needs Rose Bowl berths and BCS titles when you've got ... oh, never mind.

After watching the Browns lose to Baltimore on “Monday Night Football,” LeBron James thinks that he can play receiver for them. After watching the Browns play on “MNF,” I think Spud Webb could play pulling guard.

Shaquille O'Neal has a shoulder injury. They knew that his shooting motion was off when one of Shaq's free throws went in the basket.

Bizarre story of the week: Backstage at “The Jimmy Kimmel Show,” Marv Albert got into a scuffle with 50 Cent's entourage. Marv held his own, and is now going by his new rap name, “Vanilla Hairpiece.”

The trouble started when a member of 50 Cent's entourage asked Albert, “You want some of this?” “Yessssss!”

In the past seven days, Zack Greinke won the Cy Young Award and married a former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. All of a sudden, getting my Weedwacker fixed doesn't seem like that great of a week.

Shane Victorino is being criticized for inviting Jon Gosselin to his wedding. Instead, Gosselin should go someplace where he'd fit in, say, the Breeders' Cup.

Manny Pacquiao just won his seventh world boxing title in seven weight divisions. The last person to excel at this many different weights? Oprah.

Good news. Omaha's budget problems are so bad it looks like we may be able to get Habitat for Humanity to finish the downtown baseball stadium.

South African 800-meter gold medalist Caster Semenya won't be stripped of her medal, and her gender tests will be kept confidential. When she heard the news, Semenya was so excited she cut herself shaving, canceled an appointment to get her prostate checked and went out and rented a Three Stooges DVD.

After a horrible call sent France to the World Cup instead of Ireland, there's a proposal to have instant replay at soccer matches. There's concern that could slow down the game, and make the average soccer match seem 18 hours long instead of 15.

A scientist has invented a remote-controlled bowling ball. The balls will be used by those who value winning over fair play. So far, the first 2,000 have all been sold to professional football and baseball players.

And finally: A beer truck containing 244 kegs that was stolen two weeks ago has been found in Lincoln. No arrests have been made. The only suspects ruled out are Omaha Lancers fans, based on the fact a couple of the kegs were unopened.

-- Dickson, an Omaha native, is a former writer for “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno.”

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