'Old Dogs': Williams and Travolta can’t work any magic

Geezer movies can be fun. “Grumpy Old Men,” in which Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau competitively drooled over Ann-Margret, proved that again back in 1993.

Director Walt Becker proved it again in 2007 with the box-office hit “Wild Hogs,” in which John Travolta, William H. Macy, Tim Allen and Martin Lawrence were aging, uneasy riders.

But “Old Dogs” is no “Wild Hogs.” In fact, it’s pretty much a comedic dog. If you’ve seen the previews, you’ve seen all the movie’s best bits. Even at 88 minutes, it’s too long.

That’s a bit of a surprise, since Becker is again directing Travolta, and Travolta’s co-star is funnyman Robin Williams.

The two play bachelor business partners in New York City. Charlie (Travolta) is the Oscar of this odd couple, and Dan (Williams) is the Felix. Eternal child Charlie charms the clients with funny stories about Dan’s embarrassing past, and then Dan sells them with high-tech competence.

Charlie’s favorite story is when Dan got his divorce, and Charlie took him to Miami for a wild weekend to cheer him up. It resulted in a second, drunken marriage to Vicki that was soon annulled.

But, surprise, just as Charlie and Dan are closing in on a huge deal with some Japanese clients, Vicki shows up with 7-year-old twins in tow.

Yup, they’re Dan’s. And Vicki needs a 24/7 sitter for two weeks (long story, not amusing). Because Charlie got Dan into this mess in the first place back in Miami, he’s drafted to help anxiety-ridden Dan, who is awful with children.

What follows is a string of sight gags and predictable disasters in which Travolta and Williams shift into mug-the-camera overdrive in a vain effort to make this lame comedy fly.

People think they’re grandpas. Or gay partners. There’s the restaurant disaster and the camping disaster and the high-rise apartment child-proofing disaster and the zoo disaster and the grief support group disaster (Ann-Margret, you look gorgeous!).

Travolta has called in a lot of favors, as bit roles are filled by a long list of big names who lay a dozen eggs here: Seth Green as their junior business partner; Bernie Mac as a kid TV star; Matt Dillon and Justin Long as camp counselors; Dax Shepard and Luis Guzman as child-proofers; Rita Wilson as Vicki’s sister; Amy Sedaris as a condo neighbor; Lori Loughlin (“90210”) as Travolta’s love interest; and Travolta’s real-life wife, Kelly Preston, as Vicki. Even their real-life daughter, Ella Bleu Travolta, plays one of the twins. The other is Conner Rayburn from “According to Jim.”

But the kids might as well be cardboard props. The adults do all the cutting up.

When the movie isn’t trying too hard to be funny, it’s trying too hard with a sappy soundtrack and script to wring sentiment out of this late-date dad trying to bond with his kids and shift his priorities.

You’re better off staying home and watching reruns of “Two and a Half Men.”

Contact the writer:

444-1269, bob.fischbach@owh.com

« Entertainment

Share