Dickson's Week in Review

In the Holiday Bowl, everything went Nebraska's way, including the calls. That was some deal Ben Nelson struck for his health care vote.

In the third quarter, an ESPN announcer said, “Nebraska is taking Arizona to the woodshed.” Inside the woodshed, a Texas Tech player was standing in the dark for punishment.

This was the first bowl shutout in Husker history. No doubt Nebraska's defense has the killer instinct. When boarding the bus to go to SeaWorld, Ndamukong Suh and Barry Turner were carrying fishing rods.

It was quite a week for the Lincoln Southeast band. It marched in the Holiday Bowl parade, played at the kickoff luncheon and, in a pickup game, beat the Arizona football team 19-7.

Did you see the picture of the seal at SeaWorld giving Suh a kiss? At first I thought it was “the worst New Year's Eve date ever.”

Suh was enthralled when the seal balanced a beach ball. Sure, if Suh's drafted by the St. Louis Rams it could be years before he's around that kind of athleticism again.

Mike Stoops was a groomsman at Bo Pelini's wedding. It was a formal affair. For the men, black tie and sweatshirts.

The Rose Bowl parade features floats made entirely of roses. You do that at the Papa Johns Bowl and we'll finally have a parade I wouldn't mind attending.

Navy manhandled Missouri 35-13 in the Texas Bowl mostly because Blaine Gabbert was dazed after learning right before the game that the Midshipmen make a five-year commitment to the Navy after graduation. “You mean five months, right?”

Bobby Bowden capped a 57-year coaching career with a victory in the Gator Bowl. Actually it turns out Bowden's not retiring, now he's taking “an indefinite leave of absence.”

A Big Ten team won the Rose Bowl and Tony Romo played well in December. I've never felt so ungrounded in my life.

Saturday night UFC 108 took place. If they can arrange a Mike Leach-Craig James bout for UFC 109 I'm splurging on the pay-per-view.

My favorite end-of-decade list: “Top 3,000 Mike Leach Controversies 2000-2009.”

Leach is prepared to have his case decided by a jury. He should be comfortable standing in front of 12 people, it'll be like playing at Baylor.

Not to make light of an ugly situation, but Leach allegedly made a player stay in a small, dark room without video games, rap music, cable TV, texting or Twitter. Where can I find a room like that?

You look at James, Erin Andrews, Steve Phillips; no wonder ESPN is The Worldwide Leader. It's easy to break news when 80 percent of the big stories in 2009 involve your employees.

According to a study, 19 Alabama players who didn't meet admissions standards got into school under a “special policy.” Alabama says nothing untoward happened, it just modified admission requirements replacing the SAT and GPA with a 40-yard dash and shuttle run.

The movie “Avatar” takes place in 2054. In the opening scene a group of human-alien hybrids are attending Joe Paterno's retirement party.

ESPN announcers seem to favor a college football playoff. And that's just so they never again have to say, “Time for a Flomax bowl update.”

Chad Ochocinco is legally changing his name to “Hachi Go.” I believe that means “tired act” in Japanese.

I saw this headline: “Raiders Coach Throws JaMarcus Russell Under Bus.” The bus was totaled.

Titans running back Chris Johnson promised his offensive line new cars if he gets 2,000 yards rushing. Until now, the best way to get a new car was to sit in Oprah's audience or commit to USC.

The worst New Year's Eve party was thrown by Indianapolis Colts coach Jim Caldwell. At 11 p.m., he pulled the champagne and replaced it with Zima.

According to a report, on Christmas Eve Washington Wizards teammates Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton drew guns on each other in a locker-room dispute over a gambling debt. It wasn't so scary because as Wizards, each guy only shoots 30 percent.

According to a poll, Americans want a college football playoff similar to the NCAA basketball tournament. The main thing the NCAA tourney and a college football playoff would have in common is that Creighton's not getting a call from either.

The No. 2 Texas basketball team won by 32 against Gardner-Webb, which I believe is the law firm that's representing Leach.

In Des Moines, a deer crashed through the window of an apartment. Experts think the deer may have tried to mate with his own reflection. Same thing once happened to A-Rod.

Yankees pitcher Mark Melancon married Omahan Mary Catherine Cimino with the rehearsal dinner held at Rosenblatt Stadium. Let's hope this isn't a preview of the new downtown stadium when the CWS isn't in town — weddings and bar mitzvahs.

Danica Patrick signed with NASCAR. A little competition for Dale Earnhardt Jr. for 22nd place.

A man in a Santa suit robbed a bank in Nashville. Imagine the reaction of kids if Santa's mug shot is on TV? You think Tiger Woods' problems burst some bubbles.

Waste Management is the new sponsor of the PGA's Phoenix Open. The Waste Management Open. You think all those insurance commercials during the Hartford Open are annoying.

In a lawsuit, Olympic figure skating champion Alexei Yagudin claims an auto shop owner he hired as his financial manager bilked him of $1 million. Now Yagudin is contemplating suing the painter he hired to do his taxes and the plumber who operated on his knee.

Omaha ranked 94th out of 100 cities in a quality of drinking water study. In sports terms, if drinking water tests were like college basketball power rankings, we're basically Houston Baptist.

CNN showed a large crowd of Germans ringing in the New Year. It turned out to be the Nebraska basketball team.

And finally: the Omaha Lancers played on New Year's Eve, which means that Times Square was only the second biggest party of the night.

--Dickson, an Omaha native, is a former writer for “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.”

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