Dickson's Week in Review

Omaha native Brad Dickson reviews this week in sports. Dickson is a former writer for “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.”

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The big story in sports is that event that occurs every four years. But enough about the Colorado men’s basketball team winning a Big 12 road game.

At Husker men’s basketball senior night, Doc Sadler started walk-on Ben Nelson as a reward for hard work. He deserved it, this kid is tough. Imagine going through the past year in Nebraska as A) a member of the Husker men’s basketball team and B), also being named Ben Nelson.

This week NU fans are heading to the Big 12 tourney in Kansas City. I wouldn’t say they’re not confident of a deep run, but Husker fans are booking hotels with hourly rates.

Wednesday was senior night for the NU women’s basketball team. Players who gave four years to the program were honored by fans, most of whom have been supporting the team for — well, about four weeks.

My question: Why is it we can’t watch NU women’s basketball on TV, yet we get bass fishing tournaments in their entirety and 25 consecutive hours of curling?

This just in. The winner of the Waco Toughman Contest is Brittney Griner.

There’s a possibility Griner could face criminal charges. Griner has one regret — that she didn’t wait to punch someone in the stands at a Baylor home football game. You know why? No witnesses.

KU grad and adult film star Samantha Ryan sat in the front row for the Jayhawks vs. K-State basketball game. OK, I was wrong, a Kansas education can lead to lucrative employment.

Maker’s Mark whiskey is issuing limited edition bottles with the face of Kentucky basketball coach John Calipari. I only hope being linked to a basketball coach in Kentucky doesn’t hurt the image of hard liquor.

Shaquille O’Neal underwent thumb surgery. It’s expected to alter his shooting motion so much a free throw attempt may go in.

Archaeologists outside Rome discovered an amphitheater that dates back to the second century. I thought they were showing footage of the amphitheater on the news, but it turned out to be girls basketball fans arriving at Pershing Center.

Archaeologists near Moscow unearthed what may be an ancient university. There’s already a rumor the school is joining the Big Ten.

Curt Tomasevicz from Shelby, Neb., won an Olympic gold medal in four-man bobsled. When the bobsled finals were on TV the streets of Shelby were deserted, not a soul was in sight; and now, a week after the Olympics ended, the streets of Shelby are deserted, not a soul is in sight ...

Shelby’s population is 692. I’ve seen potholes in Omaha that could hold that many people.

The scariest part of the bobsled course was the “50/50 curve,” dubbed that because you have a 50 percent chance of getting through it right-side up. We have something similar in Omaha called 90th and Dodge.

The World-Herald did a feature on Omaha Lancers mascot Blades The Chicken. I saw a photo of this person wearing feathers and a beak on skates, and I thought it was Johnny Weir at the closing ceremonies.

The closing ceremonies at the Winter Olympics featured dancing canoes, flying moose and hovering beavers. I believe the theme was “Nightmare After Eating Italian Food.”

There’s talk of adding American-style football to the Olympics starting in 2026. Of course the big concern is now Brett Favre won’t want to retire until he gets a gold medal.

At the NFL Combine, Ndamukong Suh posted a vertical leap of 35½ inches. The last time a big man jumped that high was in the movie “Son of Flubber.”

At the combine, Gerald McCoy was asked if he wore a G-string or an athletic supporter when he played for Oklahoma. This is what happens when a team accidently picks up an old list of questions left over from “The Newlywed Game.”

Saturday in Palm Beach, Fla., fans paid $160 for Tim Tebow’s autograph. The event was marred when some NFL scouts showed up to criticize Tebow’s signing motion.

Danica Patrick has crashed in two of her first three NASCAR races. It’s OK. Her mom always told Danica to wear good underwear in case she’s in an accident or is asked to pose for a magazine.

Missouri politicians want to rename the stretch of I-70 called Mark McGwire Highway. To give you an idea how far McGwire has fallen, they’re considering calling it Pete Rose Way.

According to Golf Digest, Bill Clinton called Tiger Woods in sex rehab. It’s unclear if this was on the phone or he just opened the door and yelled down the hall.

Tiger Woods’ popularity is actually up in China, where according to one executive a celebrity’s image is enhanced “if he has mistresses.” However, more bad news for Tiger. In China he just lost the Gatorade endorsement to John Edwards.

Omaha has decided not to privatize city golf courses. To counter criticism they don’t know how to run a golf course, the city is sending public works crews to fill in all those holes on the greens with the flags in ’em.

According to Warren Buffett’s annual shareholders letter, Berkshire’s book value shot up $21.8 billion last year. That accounted for the second greatest wealth creation in the state, right after Carl Pelini’s pay raise.

Less than 100 days to the World Cup. Our planet is expected to catch “Soccer Fever,” which to me sounds a lot worse than H1N1 flu.

KFC is test marketing the Double Down Sandwich in Providence, R.I., and Omaha. It consists of Swiss and pepper jack cheese, bacon, and, instead of a bun, two deep fried fillets. I don’t know about Providence, but in Omaha officials are using ’em to fill potholes.

And finally: At bars around the country, shooting pool and throwing darts are being replaced by “turtle racing.” Hey, it’s a good way to kill 13 hours.

— Dickson, an Omaha native, is a former writer for “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno.”

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