TeamMates making strides throughout Ralston schools

Lunchtime at Ralston Middle School.

A trio of seventh-grade boys stands awkwardly in the school's office, each doing what seventh-grade boys do best: trying not to look too excited.

One by one, however, the boys make their way to where a middle-aged man is standing, talking with the RMS administrative aides, and one by one, they greet the man with a smile and a firm handshake.

"Hey," he says to each one of them as they shake hands in turn, making a V of the index and middle fingers on his left hand and raising the V to his eyes, then passing it between his face and the boy's.

Each boy raises his gaze to meet the man's.

"That's what we want to see," the man says. "That's good."

It's a simple gesture and something often taken for granted, even in adult circles, but to Matt Hagge, the little things matter.

"I always make them look me in the eye," Hagge said. "It's a social skill. I tell them that when they shake hands with someone, they always need to make that eye contact. It's a matter of trust."

At different points in the last year, Hagge has taken all three boys — Israel Ortiz, Jacob Stambaugh and Luis Zavala — under his guidance as part of the TeamMates mentoring program at RMS.

And with each week of the school year, like the other 43 mentor-mentee matches in the Ralston Public Schools, the four of them get together for one hour, share lunch, conversation and activities, all while forging a bond to help see the boys through to academic, social and career success.

"Having a mentor has a positive impact on all of those things," said Shawna Mayer, RPS TeamMates Program Coordinator. "Each semester, we look at the data and see that for the students who are able to meet with their mentors for that one hour each week, they have better grades, better attendance, fewer behavioral issues. Mentoring just makes a difference that way."

Just an hour with Hagge, Israel, Jacob and Luis, and how the difference is made is indeed palpable.

Over a pizza and cheeseburger lunch in a quiet little nook of the RMS media center, the boys and Hagge immediately launch into discussions on how classes are going.

The boys also have special cards for Hagge, thanking him for being their mentor — part of RPS's celebration of National Mentoring Month in January. It's serious business, but there's nothing overweening in Hagge's demeanor and the boys are clearly at ease with the conversation and add to it with witty repartee.

On this day, when asked what they think about the prospect of moving through seventh and eighth grade and on into high school and eventually college, the boys each have different things on their minds.

"Girls," is Israel's ready answer after reflecting on what he's most looking forward to in post-secondary education. "There are going to be lots of beautiful girls at college."

Then again, Israel said, he might want to become a priest, so girls might have to go by the wayside.

"I have a long list," he said. "Priest, boxer, astronaut, architect."

This last mention brings the other two boys quickly into the conversation.

"I want to be an architect," Jacob said. "I like to build things."

"Yeah," Luis intoned. "Or a doctor or build technology. I'd really like to create video games or computer games, do something like that."

The boys throw out other notions of college and career when Hagge asks them what all of those dreams and goals will require.

Almost in unison the three reply: "Studying hard."

"We talk about that a lot, don't we?" he asked. "About setting goals, real attainable goals. And I think you guys can attain those goals but it's going to take hard work. It's going to take time. It's going to take not making any excuses."

The boys nod.

"We're not big on excuses anymore," Israel said.

Hagge, who has four children of his own and works near Ralston High School, said he got involved with TeamMates after a period of soul-searching.

"I just made the decision it was time to start giving something back," he said. "It's always been something I've wanted to do, but like a lot of things, you just never get around to it. Finally, though, we got it going and I wish I had started earlier. It's very enjoyable.

"You can tell that it's not something that's going to happen overnight, making a difference in these boys' lives, but it's something we're all three working on and making a lot of progress on."

For the boys' parts, having Hagge visit is one of the decided highlights of each week.

There are plenty of conversations to have, games to play, advice to be sought. And all four agree they are looking forward to keeping the relationship going through high school and beyond.

"It's cool," said Israel, who was Hagge's first mentee. The two were matched last year, when Israel was a sixth-grader at Karen Western Elementary School. "Having someone take the time to come up here and talk to us about life and school, it's something I look forward to every week."

After about six months mentoring Israel and after the youngster had made the jump to the middle school, Hagge decided to take on matches with Luis and Jacob.

The trio has been good for one another, Hagge said, and he feels like reaching out to a wider circle will pay dividends for the boys as they mature.

"It's like having another counselor you can talk to," Luis said of the weekly meetings with Hagge. "He's good to talk to and I learn a lot from him. We play games, but we also have serious discussions about grades, attendance and stuff like that."

It all comes back to simple things just like that: a conversation on how preparations for a math test are coming. Questions on how the boys are doing in being able to get to school. How things are going with family and friends.

"We want to help kids develop in all aspects," Mayer said. "And to do that, we try to make the match as closely aligned with the mentor's and the mentee's strength as possible."

With help from Gallup, the nationwide polling company, mentors and mentees are matched on their top strengths, based on a 34-theme assessment each takes.

Third- through eighth-graders are matched on their top three strengths, ninth graders and above are matched on their top five.

Mayer is in her second year heading up Ralston's TeamMates program, which got its start in 1991 as a pilot project initiated by former University of Nebraska football coach Tom Osborne and his wife, Nancy.

The Osbornes, along with several members of the Cornhusker football team, paired up with 25 middle school boys in Lincoln, abiding by the simple philosophy and program still in use by TeamMates today: that one hour a week does indeed make a difference.

Of the 25 boys originally in the program, 22 stayed in the program through high school graduation and 18 went on to post-secondary education.

In the 21 years since its founding, the mentoring program has helped nurture more than 5,000 mentor-mentee relationships in 120 communities in Nebraska, Iowa and California.

In Ralston, the program underwent several iterations before Mayer stepped in last year to build Ralston's TeamMates in earnest.

When she took the reins, there were eight mentor-mentee matches district-wide.

One year later, that number has more than quintupled to 43 matches in all eight RPS buildings. There are 14 matches at RMS alone and Mayer said she's adding about a match a week.

While the district can use as many mentors as it can get, there is particular need for men to mentor boys. Hagge's work with Israel, Jacob and Luis is a perfect advertisement of what mentoring takes, she added.

"Matt has been a wonderful mentor to these boys," she said. "When these boys get older, they'll be able to look back on this time. When someone asks them what they're going to do with their life — that's a big question in TeamMates — they can say they had the support from Matt and from TeamMates to realize the dream of going to college and starting a career and it all started right here."

The boys agreed they're being launched on a path they want to keep following.

"We want to get to college and work on our goals," Israel said. "If you have goals, you have a plan. You might not get all the way to the goal you have, but you'll get close and you'll have a plan for something you can do next."

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