Premium ContentMouse over Home then click on Premium Content for information.Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.
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* During a White House concert Tuesday night, President Obama jammed onstage with Mick Jagger and B.B. King. Mitt Romney has never seemed less presidential.
* It was designated "Blues Night" at the White House. Not to be outdone, if he's elected, Newt Gingrich is going to introduce "Yodeling Sundays."
* The Gingrich campaign is reportedly strapped for cash. Gingrich denied the report, then resumed looking through the couch cushions for loose change.
* According to a long-range forecast, this spring and summer in Omaha may be stormier than last year. Which is daunting news if you recall that last year we had hail the size of Mini Coopers.
* The Bacon Festival is under way in Des Moines. This is, of course, followed by Cholesterol Days.
* The famous eagle's nest in northwest Iowa that's streaming online has two new eggs. The eagle said she would have laid five more eggs, but the camera beside the nest makes everybody nervous.
* Early Tuesday, Missouri experienced a 4.0 magnitude earthquake. People woke up to doors slamming and stuff breaking. At first they thought, "Did K-State basketball coach Frank Martin break into my house?"
* One Missouri resident reported that the earthquake did $9,000 worth of damage at his house. It destroyed all the liquor he planned to drink before the next Missouri home basketball game.
* Costa Rica recently experienced a 5.8 magnitude earthquake. Mitt Romney immediately flew to the area to check on his savings account.
* During a White House concert Tuesday night, President Obama got on stage and sang "Sweet Home Chicago." It's the second time Obama has sung in about a month. The election is a lot like "American Idol," only with much lower voter participation.
* If elected, Rick Santorum plans to join Big Bird in singing a Sesame Street song - with all the objectionable lyrics bleeped out, of course.
* When President Obama walked into a carryout Chinese restaurant in San Francisco, a female patron appeared to squeeze his rear end. The next day, Bill Clinton showed up at the restaurant to campaign.
* The GOP presidential debate Wednesday night is the first debate in 27 days. That's approximately nine front-runners ago.
* The New York City street performer known as the Naked Cowboy is running for president. He said he wants to be our next Commander-in-Briefs.
* According to a poll, some Republicans are willing to consider voting for the Naked Cowboy, provided he's not Mormon.
* Lee Terry kicked off his bid for an eighth term in Congress at the German-American Society in Omaha. The location has historical significance. When Terry first ran for Congress, it was the exact spot where he was endorsed by Buffalo Bill Cody.
* Metro transit in Omaha is partnering with Google Maps. Apparently, the Metro transit route maps aren't confusing enough. They need to bring in Google Maps to create total chaos.
* Some members of the Occupy movement are trying to gain mainstream acceptance. They no longer want to be called Occupy protesters. Now, they're "tailgaters."
* Nancy Grace is under fire for some comments she made. There's something you only see three or four times a month.
* Fidel Castro has completed a 1,000-page memoir about his life. It's exhaustive and in-depth. Take pages 143 to 327, titled: "Kindergarten: My Year of Reckoning."
* A new "World's Fattest Man" has been anointed at a lavish ceremony. Remember when we used to honor achievements in math and science?
* A group of friends celebrated the achievement. I'm not sure how they celebrated, but we can rule out hoisting him on their shoulders.
* A Kentucky woman was arrested for punching her son at anger management class. It seems that perhaps she's not getting all she could out of the course.
* Manny Ramirez signed with the Oakland A's. Because every athlete deserves a 997th chance.
* An analyst said it's too bad Kobe Bryant can't go back in time and play with Wilt Chamberlain. If Kobe could go back in time, I think he'd be too busy preparing his prenup to play much basketball.
* The University of Akron hired Jim Tressel as an administrator. Akron, here's your first clue it was a bad hire: Approximately two-thirds of headlines reporting the story included the phrase "disgraced former coach."
* Blake Griffin will not enter the NBA dunk contest, a gracious move that will allow someone else to win. Maybe the Southeastern Conference could do that in the BCS championship football game.
* A proposal calls for replacing the Fontenelle golf course in Omaha with a walking trail and lake. I'd like to ask the person who made the proposal: What exactly do you think a golf course consists of?
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