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* The Chicago Bulls' Joakim Noah apologized for throwing a ball in the general direction of a referee. Apparently, throwing a ball in the general direction of an intended target was meant as a tribute to Tim Tebow.
* On Monday, Fed chief Ben Bernanke said he's unsure that the pace of current job growth can be sustained. About the only thing you can count on in job creation is that every six years there will be an opening for a Husker men's basketball coach.
* Continental Automotive Group is testing cars that drive themselves. To fit in on the streets of Omaha, some cars are being programmed to tailgate, never signal and randomly change lanes for no apparent reason.
* Nebraska named Tim Miles of Colorado State its new men's basketball coach. I'm just glad the Huskers found someone. If Miles passed, they were down to the "basketball expert" at Scheels.
* UCLA's Ben Howland reportedly turned down the Husker job. To try and lure Howland from UCLA to Nebraska, I hope NU officials went easy on the "basketball tradition" argument.
* Today, the Big Ten released its official statement on the hiring of Miles. It read, "Who?"
* Over the weekend, President Obama visited the demilitarized zone between North Korea and South Korea. It's similar to the U.S. Congress, only less tense.
* Obama's flight from Washington to South Korea took 17 hours. After landing, he learned that his likely opponent in the fall, Mitt Romney, had changed every one of his positions while Obama was in the air.
* Obama was troubled by the 17-hour flight because this is the longest he's gone since being elected without holding a campaign fundraising event.
* The North Koreans said they would have preferred to see a Republican with one of those new, high-tech communication devices: an Etch A Sketch.
* Rick Santorum won the Louisiana primary, which means he's earned the right to go by the title "Swamp King."
* Vice President Joe Biden is now referring to Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum by name. That's a departure from previous policy, which called for him to refer to them as "Hairball" and "Sweater vest."
* Mitt Romney is claiming that Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich are "mathematically eliminated." Sort of like the Kansas City Royals on the second day of baseball season.
* To highlight comments by a Romney aide, Santorum has been carrying around an Etch A Sketch to make a joke. Technically, he'd be the first prop comic ever elected president of the United States.
* And President Obama was just heckled at an energy event. You've got one guy carrying props to make a joke, another being heckled. The campaign is like a comedy club, only with fewer ideas for solving the national deficit.
* Santorum directed a profanity at a New York Times reporter. The New York Times immediately announced a new policy in which it will refer to Santorum as "Mr. Potty Mouth."
* That was rather ironic. I watched the NCAA Tournament nonstop since Friday and didn't hear an expletive until I switched over to watch campaign news.
* A photo of a shirtless Rick Santorum sunbathing in Puerto Rico has created quite a stir in the Republican ranks. This would never happen if Santorum was a Democrat, a party where members are just grateful if candidates keep their pants on.
* In Maple Grove, Minn., a woman gave birth on the sidewalk outside the hospital. Giving birth on the sidewalk outside a hospital - isn't that the Newt Gingrich money-saving health care plan?
* Ashton Kutcher has signed up to be one of the first private citizens to travel to outer space. He's going to participate in an experiment to see whether really bad acting is affected by zero gravity.
* An official said the Army Corps of Engineers is on the case, but we shouldn't get complacent about the potential for spring flooding. The best reason to not get complacent: The Army Corps of Engineers is on the case.
* The major airlines are enlarging overhead storage bins. So go ahead, bring that Buick you were planning to take as carry-on luggage on summer vacation.
* A neighborhood dispute involves a woman who claims her neighbor's 2-year-old is a holy terror who makes the neighborhood unlivable. The girl's mother says she's a normal child. Technically, both may be right.
* In Central Florida, a man called 911 because his wife wouldn't allow him to log on to Facebook. I'm not certain why he wanted to log on, but we can pretty much rule out that he wanted to "like" the Mensa page.
* The TSA said elderly passengers at select airports no longer have to remove their shoes. The bad news: The rest of their clothes have to come off.
* A caged lion at a charity event urinated on Chad Ochocinco. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell immediately offered the lion an administrative position.