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* On Wednesday, Lady Gaga celebrated a birthday. I can't believe this isn't a citywide holiday in Omaha. Maybe the mayor was unaware.
* Americans who fly commercial this summer should brace for the shouting, the screaming, the chaos - and that's just the flight crews.
* This week in 1884, the first-ever long-distance phone call was made. If it was made on a Verizon phone, the caller would just be getting a dial tone about now.
* Employers in the U.S. are now starting to ask for job applicants' Facebook passwords to see what they've posted. If American job applicants are being judged by what they post on Facebook, I think we're soon looking at an unemployment rate of 80 percent.
* The Little Rock, Ark., airport commission voted to rename the airport in honor of Bill and Hillary Clinton. That's what they do when they're not sure which one actually was president.
* The original plan was to call it Bill Clinton Airport and include the first pants-optional terminal.
* The Newt Gingrich campaign has begun charging $50 for photos with the candidate. This gives credence to those who predict the world will end Dec. 21, 2012. A presidential candidate charging 50 bucks for a photo is sign No. 3 of the apocalypse.
* Gingrich now has to say, "I have a plan to pay off the $15 trillion U.S. debt, but first I need $50 per photo so I can keep my campaign afloat."
* An announcement about a vice presidential running mate for the Gingrich campaign may be imminent. If so, this would make the Nebraska basketball coaching vacancy only the second least-coveted recently filled position.
* A GOP panel has been appointed to investigate flubs in the Iowa caucuses. There were certainly a lot of flubs. The Iowa vote is the first caucus with its own bloopers reel.
* Wendy's is now the No. 2 fast food chain. Sadly, Americans are probably a lot more interested in this than who's No. 2 on the Republican presidential ticket.
* Romney is blaming Obama for high gas prices. Obama said it's absurd to think that high fuel prices throughout the world are his doing. Everybody knows it's George W. Bush's fault.
* In a homemade submarine, "Titanic" director James Cameron just traveled to the deepest point on earth - the bottom of a pothole on Leavenworth Street.
* Cameron reached the most remote point on earth. The first thing he did after arriving was order a pizza. Let ‘em try to get it there in 30 minutes or less.
* He reached a depth of 35,756 feet. The last time I saw that much water the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers had just predicted a minor chance of lowland flooding.
* At the Lincoln Airport, a rental car was stolen. Then, at the same rental car agency, there was a robbery. The rental car agency actually got someone to prepay for a full tank of gasoline.
* You know the best thing about stealing something at the Lincoln Airport? No witnesses.
* According to a new study, maggots cure leg ulcers. But maggots won't be used until the Food and Drug Administration approves them. As you know, maggots have only been used in medicine for 3,000 years, which isn't enough time to gain FDA approval.
* There's concern that the new leader of North Korea wants to rule the world. For that to happen, first he'll have to wrest control of the world from Ryan Seacrest.
* A Wall Street firm has hired Watson, the computer that won on "Jeopardy!" They already knew he was smart. But now, to fit in, he'll have to be programmed to be unethical.
* In Mason City, Iowa, a 26-foot-high pipe organ that's for sale for $1 can't find a buyer. Now the price may be lowered. For some reason I can't picture a prospective buyer saying, "You know, I'd love to have that organ in my living room, but I just can't see paying a buck. Now, if the price was 75 cents ..."
* Animal psychologists are now revealing the music choices of animals. Just when I think the profession of animal psychologist can't seem like more of a racket, they go and surprise me.
* Meanwhile, plant experts have revealed the alleged musical preferences of plants. I'm guessing the plants like Creed. That'd explain who's buying those albums, because I've never met a human who likes the band.
* A 101-year-old woman has set an age group record in paragliding. I don't want to rain on anyone's parade, but really, how much competition is there in this category?
* Martina Navratilova is the first contestant booted from "Dancing with the Stars." She's now trying to come to grips with being an accomplished professional athlete with numerous accolades who lost to the guy who played Urkel.
* All four No. 1 seeds in the women's NCAA basketball tournament made the Final Four. Considering the way most people in fill out their brackets, if they had pools for the women's tourney, right now everyone in the office would be tied for first.
* A new "Three Stooges" movie is about to open. In this one, the stooges each get a job working on the same Major League Baseball umpiring crew.
* The Washington Nationals are going to offer an 8-pound burger at the concession stand. In the event of rain, the grounds crew will cover the field with one.