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Brad's morning edition
Check back with Omaha.com this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* The retired space shuttle Enterprise was flown to New York City to be put on display. Wouldn't you know it - half an hour after landing in New York, the shuttle was covered with graffiti and the hubcaps were missing.
* Now the shuttle is going to sit empty and not go anywhere. In Omaha, that's called a city bus.
* Good news for Republicans: On Wednesday, Newt Gingrich is finally ending his quest for the 2012 GOP presidential nomination. Bad news for Republicans: On Thursday, Gingrich kicks off his bid for the 2016 nomination.
* A quick note: If you're preparing a May basket for Gingrich, skip the candy and go with cash.
* Mitt Romney said President Obama's golf trips "make me scratch my head." Then Romney left for the St. Tropez yacht racing semifinals.
* Lindsay Lohan attended the White House Correspondents' Dinner. That explains why, five minutes after the dinner ended, someone shouted, "Where's the china?"
* The Kardashians attended the White House Correspondents' Dinner. That's not such a stretch. The Obamas are similar to the Kardashians, only they're on prime-time TV more often.
* Kim Kardashian said she's decided to run for mayor of Glendale, Calif. in about five years. Something is drastically wrong with our political system when Kardashian knows she's running for office in 2017 and as of mid-February, Sarah Palin and Chris Christie had no idea if they were seeking the GOP presidential nomination.
* President and Michelle Obama shared a public kiss while strolling through Fort Stewart military base in Georgia. This stunned Rick Santorum, who at midnight on New Year's Eve gives his wife a firm public handshake.
* The oldest woman in Canada has died at age 113. Because it's Canada, she died right after returning home from hockey practice.
* More than 70,000 fans turned out for WrestleMania. Sure, with America forced to go up to 18 months between Adam Sandler movies, we're starved for bad acting.
* The Miami Dolphins signed a 24-year-old accountant who hasn't played football since high school. I'm trying to confirm that the Dolphins new slogan is "Sure, we lost Peyton Manning, but we got the CPA!"