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Brad's afternoon edition
* To hide the fact that President Obama was traveling to Afghanistan, the White House released a fake schedule for him on Tuesday. They really laid it on thick. Take the afternoon entry: "The President will be in Arlington, Va., to free a dog from a crate atop Mitt Romney's car."
* Early Wednesday, a member of the Occupy Lincoln group was arrested and later released on $50 bail. Where does a member of the Occupy movement come up with that kind of money?
* I believe that's the first sign charges will eventually be dropped - your bail is 50 bucks.
* Nebraska State Senator Colby Coash has canceled a campaign fundraiser with controversial rocker Ted Nugent. It was to be a different type of fundraiser - a $500 a plate dinner, where attendees are each given a bow and arrow and told to kill their own meal.
* Longtime New York Congressman Ed Towns is stepping down. He's served in the House of Representatives since 1983. He's been in Congress so long, he can remember an accomplishment.
* Now there's an allegation that U.S. Secret Service agents were intoxicated and picking up prostitutes in the VIP section at an El Salvador strip club. At this point, I think we can safely drop the word "secret" from Secret Service.
* The CDC announced that a passenger on board a Delta flight in Chicago did not have monkeypox, as originally feared. Delta responded by cutting plans for a 10 percent "monkeypox surcharge" on all tickets.
* A Florida woman is recovering and is expected to be OK after she was shot by her boyfriend who was hog hunting and mistook her for a hog. According to relationship experts, after your boyfriend mistakes you for a hog, the odds of your relationship working out are double those of winning the Mega Millions lottery.
* The Mid-Iowa Council of Boy Scouts is $350,000 in debt. In a possibly related development, Boy Scouts in Iowa will be helping the elderly cross the street for $7.99 apiece.
* Outside Lincoln, police pulled over three people who allegedly stole a tree on Arbor Day. I remember these three - they're the ones who took the Easter Bunny hostage a few weeks ago and mugged Rudolph on Christmas.
* In Omaha, several streets are closed so sewers can be repaired. This may be the only city where pothole-laden roads that were last repaired in 1972 are closed so the sewer can be upgraded for the third time since October.
* During a broadcast on TNT, Shaquille O'Neal said that someone on the Miami Heat bench passed gas. This is why it's vital to have an ex-player on the broadcast team, to get these inside scoops.
* On TNT, Shaq said that a player passed gas. TNT? Sounds more like TMI.
* The NBA playoffs are under way. Fasten your seat belts for seven months of exciting competition.