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Brad's morning edition
Check back with Omaha.com this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* On Tuesday night, The World-Herald sponsored a debate of Republican U.S. Senate candidates. It was fascinating seeing the contrasting styles and ideology of Conservative A, Conservative B and Conservative C.
* A debate record was set when the word "Obamacare" was uttered 1,000,216 times.
* While giving a crucial foreign policy talk, potential Romney vice presidential running mate Sen. Marco Rubio lost the last page of his speech. Rarely in American politics has a candidate for vice president figuratively shouted, "Pick me! I'm perfect for the job."
* The audience knew something was up when Rubio ended the speech with, "And now, what I can do to improve American foreign policy ... thank you! Good night."
* President Obama just took a whirlwind trip to Afghanistan. The Secret Service suggesting leaving immediately when they remembered that in Afghanistan prostitution is punishable by death.
* President Obama's Afghanistan trip was kept top secret. The only people who knew were Obama's tight inner circle, a handful of Pentagon officials and an eavesdropping New Orleans Saints executive.
* Mitt Romney appears to be holding vice presidential tryouts - he hangs out with a prospective running mate for a day to see if they're compatible. It's sort of like "The Bachelor," only with much less at stake.
* The search for a Romney running mate continues. So many Republican government officials have turned down the job that Romney is now looking for a city council member from a battleground state.
* Newt Gingrich has officially dropped out of the race for president. He made the decision after huddling with his closest loved ones: Tiffany's sales clerks.
* Gingrich released a goodbye video. If you play the video backward you hear "Newt in 2016. ...Newt in 2016. ..."
* Gingrich released his goodbye video. In response, the Republican Party released its "Don't let the door hit you ..." video.
* Gingrich was accused of being behind the times. There may be something to that: His goodbye video is on Beta.
* Ron Paul is comparing the Republican presidential race to the American Revolution. I think the difference is that the American Revolution only lasted eight years.
* The Charlotte Bobcats set a record for the lowest winning percentage in NBA history. How would you celebrate a record like this? Start to carry the coach off the court and drop him halfway? Throw Gatorade and miss? Cut down the nets in the wrong arena?
* Tide has become the first laundry detergent to sponsor the NFL. Based on what I've seen from crowd shots at TV games, this should appeal to the 6 percent of NFL fans who wear shirts.
* In the game between the Baltimore Orioles and Oakland A's, the home plate umpire tackled a fan who ran on the field. Impressed Kansas City Chiefs executives vowed to make the umpire their top pick in the supplemental draft.