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Brad's afternoon edition
* President Obama will be in Des Moines on Thursday. Obama is not expected to stop in Omaha. You'd think Obama would feel at home here. With our restaurant tax, this is the home of the $1,000 per plate dinner.
* Millard teachers are getting a pay raise. That's the good news for Millard teachers. The bad news? Starting next fall, they'll be compensated in AstroTurf.
* During Occupy protests at the NATO summit in Chicago, protesters are sleeping outdoors in tents. Wait, my error. Those are actually people who invested in the Facebook IPO on Friday.
* Casey Anthony has been discovered in hiding. She was in a place where she thought nobody would ever find her in a million years: midcourt during the opening game of the WNBA season.
* Beach Boy Bruce Johnston lashed out at President Obama. That isn't unusual; the Beach Boys have been politically active ever since one of the group's founding members argued successfully for the implementation of the Mason-Dixon Line.
* According to a new poll, President Obama and Mitt Romney are in a dead heat in Florida. Here we go again.
* Secretary of State Hillary Clinton just returned home from India. A Democrat tries to visit India once a year to see where all our jobs are going.
* There's a new gift trend for grads: breast implants. Let me be the first to point out that a society full of college graduates who owe 80 grand in student loans but own their implants free and clear is almost certainly on the brink of collapse.
* An Omaha gun amnesty program brought in 28 firearms, numerous BB guns and a crossbow. It looked like the North Korean Army was conducting military exercises.
* The retired space shuttle Enterprise was flown to New York on the back of a commercial airliner and treated like cargo. At last report, airline officials were pretty sure the shuttle was somewhere in Orlando or Atlanta, unless it's in Cleveland.
* A Phoenix man has won a $1 million lottery six times. This means Ringo Starr is only the second-luckiest man in the universe.
* Six Chicago Cubs fans are walking cross-country accompanied by a goat named Wrigley to break a 104-year-old curse. They say they don't want attention, which is difficult when you're walking down a highway six abreast with a goat.
* Mike Tyson debuted his two-hour Las Vegas stage show. My hunch: At two hours, the show runs one hour and 58 minutes too long.
* There are plans to hold a minor-league baseball home run derby on a U.S. aircraft carrier. Let's just hope war doesn't break out after a ball bounces off an Iranian fishing boat.
* The NFL is considering eliminating the Pro Bowl because players don't seem to be motivated to give 100 percent. This was never more evident than when several members of the AFC team were stringing hammocks in the huddle.