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Brad's morning edition
Check back with Omaha.com this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* President Obama is in Des Moines on Thursday. I tell you, these self-congratulatory ceremonies of Iowans for finally choosing a new Cy-Hawk Trophy are starting to get out of hand.
* To underscore the importance of Iowa in the presidential election, President Obama, Michelle Obama, Joe Biden and Jill Biden have all visited recently. And on Tuesday, first dog Bo will be in Ankeny.
* Fox News host Chris Wallace won on "Celebrity Jeopardy." Had he lost, through force of habit he was prepared to blame the Obama administration.
* Wallace's score would've been even higher, but after the clue "The biggest disaster of the 21st century," he couldn't help but answer: "What is CNN?"
* The president and Mitt Romney have been busy speaking at college commencements. I, too, spoke to a group of recent college grads: I went to McDonald's and placed an order.
* Romney is now implying that there's a personal beef between Obama and Bill Clinton. Surely the two men can come together over their common ground. One guy can't find his birth certificate, and the other keeps forgetting he has a marriage license.
* I think Romney may be on to something. Last time Clinton and Obama campaigned together, each man was holding his nose.
* This is nothing petty. Apparently, the bad blood between Obama and Clinton began with an argument over who got to sit next to George Clooney at a fundraiser.
* Joe Biden said that a background in private equity does not make you more qualified to be president than to be a plumber. Joe the Plumber said he's not 100 percent sure, but he thinks Biden just endorsed him.
* Of course, the big difference between being plumber and president: Plumbers make more money.
* According to financial disclosure documents, President Obama may be worth up to $10 million and may have doubled his net worth while in office. In Nebraska we call this "attorney general."
* Obama may be worth up to $10 million. I wondered why he recently called for raising taxes on the "super rich" - those worth 10 million and one dollars.
* According to financial disclosure documents, Vice President Joe Biden has assets of less than $1 million and liabilities of up to $1.5 million. This means next time you see Biden on a golf course, he may be caddying to earn spending money.
* Thursday is a milestone day. We're now heading into the second year of the 2012 NBA playoffs.
* Miss New Hampshire USA 2010 was arrested for assault after she allegedly punched, pushed, kicked and bit her boyfriend. As she was hauled away in handcuffs, she was heard screaming that what she really wants is world peace.
* The town of Las Cruces, N.M., has begun turning off the utilities of people who have unpaid parking tickets. I'm proud that I live in Omaha, where police downtown have a more civilized way of dealing with unpaid tickets - towing your car into the river.
* The first casino has opened in Cleveland. Clevelanders are used to million-to-one odds. They see them whenever one of their professional sports teams kicks off a new season.