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Brad's afternoon edition
* Mitt Romney had no campaign events scheduled on Monday. Well, sure, after you've been to Bayliss Park, there's no topping that.
* Actually, after Romney visited Bayliss Park in Council Bluffs on Friday, he introduced a proposal to rename the area Trump Fields.
* President Obama said, "The private sector is doing fine." You know Obama's been playing too much golf because as soon as the words left his mouth, he asked for a mulligan.
* In Omaha, 84th Street reopened Monday morning after being closed for water main repairs. It's expected to remain open until the next water main break sometime Monday afternoon.
* It looks like there will soon be a new World's Wealthiest Man. It's going to be the guy who gets the Stony Brook T-shirt concession outside TD Ameritrade Park.
* Warren Buffett said the chances of a U.S. entering another recession now are “very low.” To which a chorus of gloom and doom CNBC commentators said, “What about the Venus transit, which everyone knows is a precursor to a NASDAQ meltdown?”
* Domino's Pizza plans to offer a pizza with gluten-free crust. Not for health reasons. No, executives realized that with the reduced weight inside the car, going gluten-free allows the Domino's drivers to get the pizza there .00001 seconds faster.
* A California court ruled that CVS cashiers should not be allowed to sit while on the job. However, due to the dearth of customers, it's OK for JC Penney cashiers to string hammocks.
* Justin Bieber suffered a mild concussion after running into a wall while performing in Norway. He was treated by a wise guy doctor. Bieber said, “Can I still sing, Doc?” And the doctor said, “When could you ever?”
* Stony Brook ousted LSU and qualified for the College World Series. At first I was confused - I thought Stony Brook was a relief pitcher for the Oakland A's in the late '70s.
* I saw an article on how phone booths are becoming obsolete. However, one phone booth was just put to use. It was used to hold a meeting of “Every Person on the Planet Who thought Timothy Bradley Beat Manny Pacquiao.”
* The decision in the Bradley-Pacquiao fight was so bad, the two judges who said Bradley won were immediately summoned to serve on Florida juries.
* On Saturday night, the Pacquiao-Bradley fight and the seventh game of the Eastern Conference NBA Finals were so big that an Omaha TV sportscaster almost mentioned them, then thought better and cut away to five more minutes of Storm Chaser highlights.
* Tiger Woods won a golf tournament. The old Tiger appears to be back. He won the tourney with a shot that bounced off the clubhouse, hit a caddy and ricocheted into the hole.
* The city of Orlando is throwing out all stops to woo Phil Jackson. Disney World just opened a new attraction - “Mellow-land.”
* Ten years ago, the L.A. Coliseum, where USC football plays, was the location for the filming of a porn movie. Fans just thought it was the best halftime show ever.
* Ironically, the porn actresses wore more clothing than the USC cheerleaders.