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Brad's afternoon edition
* Omaha police issued 29 minor in possession citations during the CWS. An urgent symposium will be held outside TD Ameritrade Park to try and get to the bottom of this. First, organizers have to wait for the 86 beer gardens to be taken down so there's room.
* After winning the College World Series, Arizona players donned "Wildcats Own Omaha" shirts. Hey, if they can lower property taxes, let's give 'em a shot.
* Let me briefly explain the difference between competitors in the CWS and in the U.S. Olympic Swim Trials. When a winner at the Swim Trials thanks "the man upstairs who made this all possible," he's usually talking about his agent.
* The nation of Paraguay has impeached and ousted President Fernando Lugo. Which means he was easier to depose than Ann Curry.
* NBC now stands for Network Bouncing Curry.
* Warren Buffett bought the newspaper in Waco, Texas. So he's up to the W's in his quest to own every newspaper north of the equator.
* A politician in Austria was photographed having sex in a forest by a hidden camera set up by a conservation group to record wildlife. Stop the presses: This may be my favorite all-time political sex scandal.
* According to a new study, one of Saturn's moons may contain tropical lakes. We'll know for sure if a huge crowd gathers on the Fourth of July.
* If there are lakes on this Saturn moon, the liquid is completely unfit for human consumption. In Omaha we call that "tap water."
* Three and a half tons of marijuana was found in the ocean off the coast of Southern California. Soon after, a killer whale was observed floating on his back, smiling, and whistling a Jimmy Buffett song.
* Because three and a half tons of marijuana was found there, the stretch of ocean has been designated an interstate highway.
* The executive chef for McDonald's said he didn't see anything unhealthy on the restaurant's menu. After which he was inundated with calls, mostly from major tobacco companies asking if he needs more work.
* A second Miss USA pageant contestant thinks the pageant was fixed, but she wishes to remain anonymous. Geez, you'd think Donald Trump was vindictive or something.
* Because she's staying anonymous, Trump is expected to sue all 50 contestants to make sure he gets the right one.
* At the World Burping Championships in New York, the winning burp was 18.1 seconds. OK, I changed my mind,. Now the Ice Capades are only the next to last event on earth I'd ever attend.