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Brad's morning edition
Check back with Omaha.com this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* This is shaping up as the hottest week of the year in Omaha. It was so hot in north downtown Monday, people saw two mirages - South Carolina losing a College World Series championship game and Michael Phelps finishing second in a swim race.
* The CWS is over. So once again in Omaha when you hear the word tailgating, it's a reference to following the car in front of you on the interstate at 70 mph and not eating out of the back of a station wagon.
* There was a scary incident at the U.S. Olympic Swim Trials over the weekend when a search-and-rescue team had to be sent to find Bob Costas after he got lost inside Michael Phelps' mustache.
* Parking is at a premium in the midtown district. I'm basing this mostly on the 20 cars on top of the swimmer's head outside Mutual of Omaha.
* Fireworks stands opened in Omaha on Monday, while the CWS beer gardens are still open. Beer and fireworks - good combination.
* Eighty fireworks stands are open in Omaha. Call me crazy, but there might be an issue with a city that has 80 fireworks stands and three polling places.
* Tropical Storm Debby formed in the Gulf of Mexico. President Obama is preparing to rush emergency disaster aid to any key battleground states that are affected.
* Right now, Debby is stalled over Florida. If it stays there through November and keeps Floridians from voting, I'll consider it divine intervention.
* I saw a line of cars backed up for hundreds of miles, obviously folks evacuating before Tropical Storm Debby - wait, my mistake, those were cars in Omaha trying to get downtown for the CWS finals and the U.S. Olympic Swim Trials.
* Debby has been moving at a speed of 6 mph. It still passed Mitt Romney's campaign bus.
* U.S. Supreme Court justices have jobs for life. Which is good: This should give them time to finally reach a decision on health care.
* NASA has decided not to spend the money to send a man to the moon. At the current rate, eventually Mitt Romney will just roll up there on a bus.
* Bristol Palin is said to be weighing her political future, which may someday include running for office. Of course, that's only if her reality show "Polar Bear Skinners" falls through.
* This just in: Sponsors say they still plan to stick with Lance Armstrong, even if he's accused of being a Russian spy and tosses Baby Jessica back into the well.
* A California Little League team is coached by kids instead of parents. This is wrong. Kids don't know how to curse out the umpires, demand more playing time for the second baseman and project their own frustrating lives onto the left fielder who just dropped a ball.
* In softball, a team of pro-marijuana activists defeated a team of White House staffers 25-3. It would've been 40-3, but the marijuana activists kept falling asleep while on third.