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Brad's morning edition
Check back with Omaha.com this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* An expert on the Mayan calendar said that the world will not end in late December. He decided to announce this early. Which is a good thing for all of those who planned to tell the boss what they really think of him around Dec. 15.
* On Tuesday, Mayor Jim Suttle released his final budget proposal for 2013. Out of respect for the office, the other candidates for mayor waited the standard 1.8 seconds before trashing the plan.
* Good news, Omaha - there's a chance for rain Wednesday night. It's about the same chance that pigs will fly over the CenturyLink Center.
* The drought is starting to have an impact. This weekend, a locals farmers market is having a special on tumbleweed.
* I thought I was watching an ABC special on the Dust Bowl. It turned out to be the Channel 7 weathercast.
* Under the new city budget proposal, Omaha property taxes are not going to increase. OK, now it's so hot I'm seeing mirages.
* Experts say that the drought may make it hard to find quality Christmas trees. This means the Christmas trees you buy may look as brown as they normally do when Deffenbaugh finally picks them up.
* The conservative party candidate won the Mexican presidential election. This, after Super PAC ads funded by Joe Ricketts undermined his opponent.
* Bob Kerrey raised $1.58 million in the recent reporting period. More good news for Kerrey: His wife is now "leaning toward" supporting him.
* Volunteer Arizona investigators have declared that President Obama's birth certificate is definitely fraudulent. In the wake of the Olympic team outfits scandal, let's hope this birth certificate wasn't made in China, too.
* President Obama is heralding breakthroughs in cloning. He's hoping to speed up the process so that by October he can campaign in eastern Iowa while his clone campaigns in the western part of the state.
* Blue Ivy, the daughter of Beyonce and Jay-Z, has been named an honorary citizen of the island of Hvar, Croatia. Blue Ivy also recently "sang" on a record album. I'd like to apologize to anyone attending their 30th high school reunion this weekend who just realized they have fewer accomplishments in life than a 6-month-old.
* According to a new study, Kobe Bryant is the most overpaid NBA player. To his credit, Kobe is not passing the buck, mostly because he doesn't pass anything.