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Brad's morning edition
* I plan to spend my next vacation in the sewer. As long as this much is being spent to upgrade it, I want to get my money's worth.
* A water main break near 36th and H Streets early Monday led to three homes being evacuated. The good news is, once the waters recede, these residents should have the only green lawns in town.
* The Olympics opening ceremonies contained a pro-national health care message and a pro-union message. It was like a Democratic National Convention, only without all the beer and sex scandals.
* NBC is accused of wielding too much influence over the Olympics – hey, how did Ryan Seacrest make the finals of the 200-meter butterfly?
* The hottest tickets at the Olympics are for beach volleyball. Forget the competition – people in London have never seen a beach.
* Bill Clinton has just been tapped to deliver a prime-time speech during the Democratic National Convention. Knowing how strongly Clinton feels about President Obama, I suspect Clinton lowered his normal speaking fee from $300,000 to $299,999.
* President Obama just made his fourth trip to Florida in the past few weeks. One more trip to Florida and Obama qualifies for citizenship in Cuba.
* Florida is worth a whopping 29 electoral votes. Right there is reason enough to get rid of the electoral college - it gives power to Floridians.
* In an NBC News/Wall Street Journal poll, Obama leads Romney 49 percent to 43 percent. This is interesting – everyone polled by NBC News selected Obama and every single person polled by the Wall Street Journal chose Romney.
* President Obama is wavering on the No Child Left Behind Act. He may replace it with a new law: No Driving Range Left Behind.
* The drug test of a Denver Broncos linebacker revealed urine that was probably not human. This is when you know cheating is rampant in sport – athletes are walking into the specimen room accompanied by a goat.
* A Clarinda, Iowa, man was arrested twice in three hours. Once for trespassing and the second time for DUI and driving on a revoked license. With this on his record, he'll either be going to jail or suiting up for the Cincinnati Bengals.
* The Arizona Diamondbacks suspended play-by-play man Daron Sutton – reportedly because he wanted to wear a suit while calling games. Good, I was afraid it was gonna be for something stupid.
* In a recent game, the “C” on the batting helmet of Chicago Cub Travis Wood was facing upward like a "U." I think it was trying to surrender.
* Baylor is building a $250 million football stadium. To put things in perspective, all the other buildings in Waco combined are worth about $11,600.