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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* The Nebraska football team proved disappointing in a game at the Rose Bowl. In the Big Ten this is called “Rite of passage.”
* The good news: NU may still return to the Rose Bowl this season. The bad news: NU may still return to the Rose Bowl this season.
* On Friday morning, there was a 3.5 magnitude earthquake in Los Angeles that was described as a shallow quake. Even earthquakes in Los Angeles are shallow.
* During the Nebraska-UCLA game, Fox viewers voted for the Big Ten as the second-toughest football conference in the country. Which means one thing: That's some speed dial Jim Delany has on his phone.
* Deb Fischer and Bob Kerrey have agreed to hold their next debate Sept. 28 at the Omaha Community Playhouse. The debate will air on MeTV in Omaha. If Fischer's ranch is shown on MeTV, at that size it could easily be mistaken for The Big Valley or Ponderosa.
* Chicago public school teachers have gone on strike. With the lowered educational standards in this country, they're bringing in replacement refs to teach the kids.
* ESPN tennis analyst Mary Joe Fernandez teared up on air after learning that Andy Roddick was retiring. If anyone teared up last week, I assumed it would have been a CNN analyst when President Obama accepted the nomination.
* Coming out of their convention, Democrats have rallied and united around one man who has won their hearts and souls. That man is Bill Clinton.
* During the convention, TV cameras cut to President Obama in his hotel room watching other speakers. Talk about bad timing – Obama was going through the couch cushions looking for loose change for his campaign.
* During his speech at the convention, Joe Biden repeatedly misused “literally.” You hear Biden's new slogan? “I don't know the meaning of the word quit – or the word literally.”
* Joe Biden misused the word “literally” several times. So while it may be true that any kid in America can grow up to be president, we can add that any kid who gets a D in English can grow up to be vice president.
* On Friday, Mitt Romney visited Orange City, Iowa. Apparently, Romney has been to Iowa so often that he has run out of towns anyone has heard of.
* Both President Obama and Mitt Romney are in Iowa. One more visit and they're going to have to start paying Iowa state taxes.
* Michelle Obama said she rises at 4:30 a.m. I'm not sure America is ready to re-elect a president whose wife nudges him every morning and says: “I'm getting up, but you sleep in.”
* I wouldn't say that Mitt Romney has launched an enormous media offensive, but he was just introduced as the new co-host of “Live! with Kelly.”
* The NFL referees union claims the league is spreading misinformation. There hasn't been this much misinformation since the first two seconds of Paul Ryan's speech at the Republican National Convention.