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Tom Osborne announced he's stepping down as NU athletic director in a Wednesday press conference called to discuss “the future of Husker athletics.” Considering Osborne succeeded Steve Pederson, everyone is just glad that NU athletics still has a future.
Tom Osborne is the epitome of grace, charm and soft-spoken, gentlemanly behavior. Fortunately, to pick up the torch, NU has Bo Pelini ... well, there's John Papuchis ... Tim Miles. Heck, we're in trouble.
Osborne is paid a salary of $277,969. I'm doubly grateful. First of all for Osborne's incredible service and leadership, and that he's not retiring as an Omaha public official so we'd have to pay him something like 20 grand per first down.
Chancellor Harvey Perlman appeared with Osborne at the press conference. After he got behind a mic, through force of habit Perlman called for keeping the bowl system in place. Then he raised UNL tuition twice.
* Tom Osborne announced he's retiring as NU athletic director. It is the end of an era. Actually, after seeing the prototype of the Husker alternate uniforms with the propellers, I was already pretty sure it was the end of an era.
* Road construction that was scheduled to begin on Pacific Street in Omaha on Wednesday has been postponed. I believe it was postponed because every orange traffic cone in North America is being utilized in other parts of town.
* Several counterfeit bills have surfaced in the Omaha metro area. My first reaction was that this is terrible. My second reaction: I wonder if we can gather enough counterfeit money to pay the retiring OPS superintendent?
* USA Today just observed its 30th anniversary. Thank goodness for USA Today. If it weren't for this paper, People magazine, Us Weekly and In Touch would be our only source materials to learn what Miley Cyrus' favorite vegetable is.
* If it weren't for USA Today, many people would lead their lives without knowing that 44 percent of Americans brush their teeth for three minutes per session.
* On Tuesday, President Obama, Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan weighed in on the NFL replacement refs. Maybe the best way to get politicians to talk about the fiscal cliff is to put replacement refs in charge of it.
* Obama, Romney and Ryan weighed in on the NFL replacement referees. This is when you know Joe Biden has been silenced – football is too controversial for him to speak out on.
* It's reported that in early September in Urbandale, Iowa, President Obama crashed the wedding of a young couple. Iowa is so competitive in this election that you can imagine the bride's shock when she looked up and saw Obama and Mitt Romney wrestling over who got to give her away.
* According to reports, Mitt Romney is becoming more aggressive. There must be something to that. On his latest bus tour, Romney is riding on the hood.
* CNN host Wolf Blitzer criticized Obama for appearing on “The View” instead of holding bilateral meetings with U.N. leaders. Someone on CNN criticized Obama. Apparently the Mayans were right.
* Supposedly, President Obama chose to go on “The View” rather than meet privately with U.N. representatives. The only way this gets worse is if instead of holding a jobs creation summit, he's decided to do a cameo on “Real Housewives of New Jersey.”
* A previously unaired segment from “60 Minutes” shows President Obama admitting that some of his campaign ads may have gone “overboard.” I'm assuming he's referencing the commercial claiming Romney is responsible for the crack in the Liberty Bell.
* The planet Gliese 163c, on the edge of the galaxy, appears capable of sustaining life. Republicans are planning to send Clint Eastwood there before their next convention.
* Mitt Romney has kicked off a bus tour in Ohio. If he can create half as many jobs for the rest of Americans as he has for bus drivers, Romney would make a good president.
* A new poll finds that 58 percent of Americans think that President Obama would win a fistfight with Mitt Romney. Mostly because Romney would start to throw a right, then decide to go with a left, reconsider, and go with the right.
* Christine O'Donnell, whose run for Senate in 2010 included her denying that she's a witch, said she may run again in Delaware in 2014. Sure, since 2010, the bar in Congress has been lowered enough that there's no reason to exclude witches.
* The best reason to vote for her: This may be our only opportunity to see other members of Congress turned into toads.
* In Nebraska's second congressional district, John Ewing is going to begin airing ads in early October. Meanwhile, incumbent Lee Terry has appeared in more commercials already than Peyton Manning, Eli Manning and the Levitra guy combined.
* This has been a busy week for President Obama. He addressed the U.N. General Assembly, began serious debate preparation, and, he just rushed emergency disaster relief to the set of “Dancing with the Stars” after witnessing Pamela Anderson's cha-cha.
* On Tuesday night, Pam Anderson became the first celebrity voted off the “Dancing with the Stars” all-star competition. To give you an idea how low her scores were, this is the first time a celebrity left by catapult.
* Pamela Anderson was the first voted off the new season of "Dancing with the Stars." Pamela wasn't happy. Green Bay fans took the Monday night loss better.
* I attended Omaha's Street of Dreams over the weekend. One home featured a beautiful fountain, an incredible chandelier, magnificent views – and that was just the laundry room.
* In South Carolina, a man was arrested for posing as a physician. It was realized he couldn't be an actual doctor because he doesn't own a set of golf clubs, his handwriting is legible and his waiting room contained a magazine published in the last decade.
* A New Jersey man found two python snakes in his backyard. It's easy to get rid of ‘em, he just hollered “You're in New Jersey!” and the pythons high-tailed it out.
* On Monday Night Football, one replacement ref signaled that a Hail Mary pass was a touchdown while another signaled it was an interception. You think that's embarrassing? Just off camera another ref was signaling for a fair catch.
* Replacement NFL refs have been botching calls, botching time outs and botching reviews. That's all anyone can ask of them – consistency.
* The UFL season kicks off at 8 p.m. Wednesday night. Which means the season wraps up with a championship game at midnight.
* The Omaha Nighthawks begin the season Friday in Sacramento. Here's the scary thing to me: The UFL games are being called by guys who weren't deemed good enough to be NFL replacement refs.
* A woman gave birth at a NASCAR track parking lot in New Hampshire. That's unbelievable – New Hampshire has a NASCAR track?