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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* The countdown in under way for two new Chick-fil-As that open in the Omaha area Thursday. This is similar to the countdown before the first mission to the moon, only with more local excitement.
* People are pitching tents outside the new Chick-fil-As. It's sort of like the Occupy movement of chicken.
* At the opening of two Omaha-area Chick-fil-As on Thursday, the first 100 people in line will receive free chicken for a year. It's a good thing the Nebraska football team isn't playing a game in Lincoln that day or Memorial Stadium would be only the fifth biggest city in the state.
* In California, the two most popular Halloween costumes are the President Obama and the superhero. Actually it's redundant. In California, President Obama is a superhero.
* President Obama's daughters are going trick or treating. Instead of treats, they've been instructed to ask for significant donations to the Obama re-election campaign.
* To really scare Republican leaders on Halloween, show up at a Romney rally in a George W. Bush mask.
* Paul Ryan is back in Wisconsin to go trick or treating with his kids. He's expected to stop in the middle and call Halloween candy “an unnecessary entitlement that should be halted immediately.”
* The Mitt Romney mask is very popular this Halloween. To sell the costume, when asked if they prefer a trick or treat, kids in the Romney mask should say: “Trick ... no, wait, treat ... wait, trick.”
* According to a statewide World-Herald poll, Bob Kerrey has closed the gap with Deb Fischer to win the Good Neighbor Award, I mean, the Nebraska Senate race.
* On Tuesday, Taco Bell gave away millions of free tacos as part of a promotion with Major League Baseball. Americans have the Giants' Angel Pagan to thank, who stole second base in Game 2. In a big surprise, the front-runner for president of the U.S. is now Angel Pagan.
* The Des Moines Register has endorsed Mitt Romney. The last time the Register endorsed a Republican, it was Richard Nixon in '72. Well, that worked out just fine.
* U.N. observers are coming to the U.S. to monitor the presidential election. Congratulations, America. When it comes to politics, in terms of world trust, we are now basically Chechnya.
* The Iraqi people have little faith in the U.S. November elections. It's pretty sad that a country that announces election winners before the polls even open has no faith in our system.
* Mitt Romney is throwing out all stops to get on TV. Today he was photographed waving from that teetering crane in New York City the news keeps showing.
* Lindsay Lohan endorsed Mitt Romney. I can picture that talk between Mitt Romney and his aides. “The good news is we finally won the endorsement of one Hollywood celebrity. Now, the bad news ...”
* The new trend in campaigns is the use of blimps. The Romney campaign utilized a blimp full of hot air. The Obama campaign utilized a blimp full of hot air. The Newt Gingrich campaign utilized a blimp full of hot air. Wait, my mistake, that was the actual Gingrich.
* Michael Bolton is getting his own show on ABC. President Obama can point to this as proof that the economy has turned the corner – Michael Bolton has a job in show business.
* It seems like almost every time you see President Obama campaigning, he's got a beer in his hand. Isn't this the way it always goes? When he was running for his first term, Obama was compared to JFK; now he's sort of like Norm on “Cheers.”
* Here's what I don't get: Obama always has the beer, yet it's Biden who consistently sounds like the liquor's talking.
* Due to the NHL lockout, the Florida Panthers laid off mascot Stanley C. Panther. Florida is such a vital swing state that both Obama and Romney immediately dropped everything to fly to Florida and find Stanley a job.
* People using Twitter in swing states appear to have developed a very negative view of both Obama and Romney. Which isn't much of a surprise. People using Twitter have a negative view of baby ducklings, cool spring evenings and grandma's apple pie.
* Sabrina Bryan, the celebrity with the highest scores, was voted off “Dancing with the Stars.” I'm glad this thing isn't just a popularity contest.