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* According to the Friday jobs report, 171,000 new jobs were created in October. Which is not as good as it sounds. Approximately 150,000 of those jobs were for people making Honey Boo Boo Halloween masks.
* For Halloween, Lady Gaga went as "Princess High The Cannabis Queen." I saw a photo. At first I assumed it was the new Missouri football mascot.
* I'm planning to go to the Bob Dylan concert Saturday night at the CenturyLink. It's good practice. This way, on Election Night, James Carville will seem easier to understand.
* I'm looking forward to the show. I just went out and bought a new “Dylan to English” translation book.
* Thursday night I had a trick or treater ring my doorbell about 11 p.m. I said, “Halloween was last night. You're 24 hours late. Who are you supposed to be anyway?” He said, “The cable guy.”
* The best thing I saw on Halloween was two guys going as Laurel and Hardy. Wait, that was President Obama and New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie. Never mind.
* Chuck Hagel waited until the last minute to endorse Bob Kerrey for U.S. Senate. Bob Kerrey's wife told Hagel, “You too?”
* Nebraska Republicans and Deb Fischer campaign officials are saying that Chuck Hagel is no longer politically relevant. Then, in the next breath, they tout that she's been endorsed by Larry the Cable Guy. What's wrong with this picture?
* Bob Kerrey is asking for another debate. Forget that, I want to see Deb Fischer debate those neighbors of hers from the TV commercials.
* CNN is reporting that the presidential race is extremely close in Florida. I think some Floridians are confused – 8 percent are planning to vote for Al Gore.
* Mitt Romney just completed a three-stop bus tour of Florida. To win over Florida voters, the bus traveled 25 mph in the fast lane with its turn signal blinking.
* Mitt Romney has been endorsed by Meat Loaf, Lindsay Lohan and Hulk Hogan. With all the over-the-hill celebrities, this is starting to feel like an old episode of “Love Boat.”
* If Cloris Leachman and Drew Lachey come on board, this will essentially be season four of “Dancing with the Stars.”
* President Obama and Mitt Romney each wrote op-eds for CNN.com. Because it's CNN.com, Obama's is front and center while Romney's op-ed is in fine print below the astrological forecast and next to Sudoku.
* Some bosses are reportedly telling their employees how to vote in the presidential election. Fortunately, most bosses are too busy trolling Facebook looking for inappropriate activity by the people who work for them to tell them who to vote for.
* Some claim that CNN runs unflattering pictures of Mitt Romney. I don't know. I tend to think Romney looks OK with the javelin stuck in his nose.
* President Obama returned to his hometown of Chicago to cast an early vote. Because it's Chicago, Obama was in line to vote between FDR and Al Capone.
* Joe Biden campaigned at a high school in Marion, Ohio. There's no truth to the rumor that Biden gave a kid a wedgie and stuffed him inside a locker.
* The Obama campaign launched a new program designed to get young people to reach out to the campaign via Instagram and Twitter. Not to be outdone, the Romney campaign said the young can contact them by homing pigeon or walkie-talkie.
* Some Republicans are now comparing President Obama to George W. Bush. I think the difference is, there's a better chance Obama will be invited to speak at a future GOP convention.
* In San Diego, a man claiming to be a zombie announced he's running for president of the United States. This is not a good idea. Zombies survive by eating human brains, so if he goes to Washington D.C., he'll die of starvation.
* Superman has quit his job at the Daily Planet newspaper. I'm guessing that's because Warren Buffett bought the Daily Planet and he realized there was only room for one Superman at the paper.
* The above was today's blatant attempt to suck up to World-Herald owner Warren Buffett.
* A NASA probe has discovered that the Saturn moon Titan has a soft surface and a thin crust. If this makes you think of pizza, you may be a foodie.
* A travel expert quoted by The World-Herald said that air travel back east should return to normal this weekend. Unfortunately, that means long lines, no food, delayed flights and security patdowns that remind you of your wedding night.
* Fans camped outside overnight to get a good view of the Giants' World Series victory parade. That's crazy. I'm proud to live in a city where people only camp outdoors for important events, like a chance to win free chicken for a year.
* Friday night, Creighton men's basketball team plays an exhibition game with Division II University of Mary. An exhibition game is usually against a lower-tier opponent that offers little competition. In football this is called “the Big Ten conference schedule.”
* The unemployment numbers on Friday's jobs report were incomplete. There's a giant question mark beside the name of Lakers coach Mike Brown.
* The Oklahoma City Thunder traded James Harden to Houston. Which meant on Halloween, every single person in Oklahoma City went as James Harden, because they had to put their faux Harden beards to use one last time.
* The New York City Marathon will take place as scheduled on Sunday. Competitors will cover more than 26 miles on foot. Or, as New Yorkers refer to that in the wake of Hurricane Sandy: “Getting to work.”
* WWE Hall of Fame wrestler Tammy “Sunny” Sytch was arrested three days in a row. In my opinion, after the second arrest in two days, we can lose the “Sunny” nickname.