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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning edition.
* On Election Night, Chris Matthews said he was glad we had Hurricane Sandy. This is what's meant by the phrase "balance of power." For every crazy thing Karl Rove utters on Fox News on Election Night, Mathews says something equally ludicrous on MSNBC.
* President Obama teared up during his last speech of the campaign. What the public didn't see was Joe Biden under the podium peeling an onion.
* John Kerry mocked Mitt Romney by tweeting a photo of a robot and saying it was Mitt. I believe Kerry's Twitter handle is @pot_calls-kettle_black.
* Through Tuesday, President Obama and Mitt Romney gag toilet paper had been selling well. If history is any guide, the toilet paper will do more to stimulate our economy than either candidate.
* Movie director Oliver Stone called Hurricane Sandy “punishment” for Obama and Romney's refusal to discuss global warming. Ted Nugent immediately said, “Whack job.”
* Former WWE CEO Linda McMahon lost her senate race in Connecticut. She's just grateful to return to something less fake than the U.S. Senate – professional wrestling.
* A couple in Turkey were legally married on Twitter. The couple promised to love, honor and – well, just love and honor, then they used up their allotment of characters.
* Kansas State is ranked second in the BCS. This would be Bill Snyder's first national title since face masks were added to helmets.
* For Green Bay Packers fans, there's a new item – the cheesehead bed. It's a bed that's actually a giant block of rubber cheese. I'm guessing this is not recommended for people who are trying to get rid of mice.
* Tim Tebow reportedly has a girlfriend. Counting A-Rod in the playoffs, this makes for two guys in New York who don't get to first base.