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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Mediation talks have broken down and Hostess is going forward with plans to liquidate. You thought Black Friday was crazy before. Now at Walmart you're going to have 7,000 people fighting over the last remaining Twinkie in the world.
* Christmas trees are going up everywhere. Well, except in Colorado, where residents are hanging lights from marijuana plants.
* This is the week for grabbing breasts and thighs. Of course I'm talking about security patdowns at the airport.
* About 43.6 million Americans are expected to travel on Thanksgiving. If it's like most Thanksgivings, all 43.6 million will be packed onto the same two Southwest flights.
* According to the KRC Research firm, the most stressful airport is Chicago's O'Hare. There may be something to that. On Thanksgiving weekend, two-thirds of the passengers there look like “The Scream” painting.
* Due to the economy, Americans are expected to be more thrifty this Thanksgiving. It's going to be rather depressing to sit down for our family dinners to see Dad carve the Thanksgiving Spam.
* I'm planning a traditional Thanksgiving. Eating a big turkey, then some pumpkin pie, followed by sitting back, turning on the Detroit Lions game and watching Ndamukong Suh separate a running back's wing from his thigh.
* Wednesday is normally the day the president would pardon the White House turkeys. Instead, after a decision was unable to be reached, a last-minute stopgap measure was approved delaying the call on whether to pardon the birds until some time in 2013.
* At last count, Congress was deadlocked on whether to pardon the White House Thanksgiving turkeys.
* Walmart is going to open for Black Friday at 8 p.m. on Thanksgiving. As always, the stores officially open when a SWAT team member tosses the first tear gas canister into the waiting crowd.
* Walmart announced that Black Friday is moving from Friday to 8 p.m. on Thanksgiving. Can someone check with Walmart to see if Christmas is still on Dec. 25?
* Black Friday at Walmart will begin on Thanksgiving evening. Now for those hoping to avoid the crowds, Sears will also be open.
* Jack Taylor, a basketball player at Division III Grinnell College, scored 138 points as his team defeated Faith Baptist 179-104. 179-104? That sounds like final vote totals in the MUD Board of Directors election.
* Taylor was 52 of 108 from the field. That includes the five shots he took from the locker room during halftime.
* He's the only college basketball player in the country who's not complaining he doesn't get the ball enough.
* This guy is lucky. If he got to 145 points, the opponent was going to start double teaming him.