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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* The annual Omaha Gene Leahy Mall holiday lighting ceremony was just held. This is an old tradition dating back to 1999. Let me double check that. Yep, 1999.
* Take advantage and go see the lights at the Gene Leahy Mall this year. Next year, with the new OPPD rates, the lights will be on between 6 and 6:05 p.m.
* It's starting to feel a lot like Christmas. Holiday decorations are going up, carolers are singing and Colorado just fired its football coach.
* Experts say that this year Americans should expect skinnier Christmas trees. The idea is to allow enough space in the living room on Christmas Eve for our thighs, bellies and jowls.
* The World-Herald has a new book about the end of Tom Osborne's coaching career called “Unbeatable.” When I saw the title “Unbeatable,” I thought it was the Lee Terry story.
* China's leading communist newspaper mistook a satirical Onion story naming North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un the sexiest man alive as legitimate and ran a 55-page slideshow about it. If this doesn't prove standards of beauty vary from one nation to the next, I don't know what does.
* More bad news for China. It turns out Kim Jong-un didn't really elope with Jennifer Aniston either.
Rhode Island's governor canceled this year's annual holiday lighting ceremony. It was controversial because the state doesn't call it a Christmas tree; to be more inclusive, it's a "holiday tree." Not only that, henceforth in Rhode Island, Feb. 2 will be referred to as Rodent Day.
* President Obama went to a Washington, D.C., bookstore and purchased 15 children's books recommended for ages 4 to 9. He's going to be presenting them to members of Congress as Christmas gifts.
* This just in: Instead of waterboarding to get information from captured bad guys, the CIA will force them to watch “Liz & Dick.”
* Rhodes Scholars for 2013 have been announced. Americans are sort of interested in the winners. Just not as interested as we are in whether Honey Boo Boo will free her head that's stuck in the pie.
* The Hostess company asked a bankruptcy court to allow it to shut down operations. Forget Lehman Brothers. Forget Borders books. Forget the problems at General Motors. If you can't sell Twinkies to Americans, you are grotesquely mismanaged.
* Hostess is working on a deal to sell its inventory to the highest bidder. So far it looks like it's coming down to the Sara Lee Corp. and New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie.
* The big winners on “Dancing with the Stars” are Melissa Rycroft and Tony Dovolani. I'll reserve comment until I do some research and learn which of those two is the star.
* The movie “Liz & Dick” did not receive a good response from Twitter users. Which in and of itself doesn't mean anything. Had Twitter been around then, users would've given negative responses to “The Sound of Music,” and “A Christmas Carol.”
* Colorado fired football coach Jon Embree after two years. Critics say that wasn't ample opportunity. Hey, c'mon, that's more than enough time to get a first down.