* * * * * * * * * *
Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* The annual NBC special “Christmas In Washington” will likely be canceled. From the looks of the fiscal-cliff stalemate, it will be impossible to find three wise men in town.
* This just in. Due to the financial condition of the U.S., instead of an 80-foot national Christmas tree, the official Christmas symbol will be a 4-foot inflatable Frosty.
* We're now in the month of December and the weather is mild. Don't forget the old adage about December. “Comes in like a lamb and goes out like the end of the world.”
* Harry Reid said of John Boehner: “I don't understand his brain.” I think just the fact Boehner has a brain makes him overqualified for the current Congress.
* President Obama just held a campaign-style event in Pennsylvania to discuss the fiscal cliff. Because it was campaign-style, Obama said that if he and Congress can't reach a deal, it's George W. Bush's fault.
* Grover Norquist compared his no-tax pledge to marriage vows. Note to Grover: If you want members of Congress to keep the pledge, you may want to compare it to something else.
* Regarding the odds of a fiscal-cliff fix before the end of year, let me put it in laymen's terms: Santa is preparing many lumps of coal to deliver to members of Congress.
* A Republican in Colorado, upset with President Obama's re-election, filed a petition for Colorado to secede and form its own country. The nation of Colorado would have its own military that would defend its borders by hurling snowballs at the enemy.
* The secessionist movement is gaining momentum. You heard the latest? Mexico announced plans to secede from the U.S.
* Some prominent politicians in Illinois are pushing to make it legal for undocumented immigrants to be allowed to drive. In a state where the dead are allowed to vote, I don't see a problem.
* Sen. Rand Paul of Kentucky said he might be interested in running for president in 2016. This may be what it takes to finally get Ron Paul to endorse a Republican.
* Newt Gingrich called Mitt Romney's remarks about President Obama's “gifts” winning the election for him “nuts.” When Newt Gingrich calls you nuts, it's a little like Donald Trump saying your hair looks stupid.
* Joan Rivers was stopped and detained by the border patrol in England. Good luck explaining why you vaguely look like the daughter of that woman pictured on your passport photo.
* Kate Middleton is pregnant. So I guess we've heard the last of the fiscal cliff on the national news.
* Buffalo Bills cornerback Leodis McKelvin was fined $75 for disobeying a flight crew on a trip out of New York City. Something is drastically wrong with our priorities when the fine for disobeying a flight crew is $9,925 less than for wearing the wrong color socks in a game.