Breaking Brad: Happy birthday to Bo Pelini! - Omaha.com
Published Friday, December 14, 2012 at 1:30 pm / Updated at 2:35 pm
Breaking Brad: Happy birthday to Bo Pelini!

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning edition.

* On Thursday, the OPPD Board unanimously approved another rate increase. I think board members are running out of reasons for hiking rates. A spokesman said he thinks the rate increase has something to do with the big meteor shower.

* Millions of North Koreans poured into the streets to celebrate the successful launch of a long-range missile. This is nothing compared to the celebration on Monday night when OPS finally names a new superintendent.

* After Susan Rice dropped out, it looks like John Kerry may be in line to be nominated for Secretary of State. Only now it'll be called Secretary of Settling.

* It's reported that President Obama and John Boehner met for a frank and open discussion on the fiscal cliff. I guess that sounds better than reporting they had "a superficial, misleading discussion and nothing will probably come of it."

* Some view the approaching “Doomsday” of Dec. 21 as cause for celebration; for others it's pure dread. So it's like Christmas.

Joe Biden just had lunch with a group of middle-class Americans. To give you an idea how bad our economy is, Biden brought coupons.

* The Golden Globes nominations on Thursday contained a surprise. The Best Actor nominees include the leader of North Korea for claiming the object he launched into orbit was a weather satellite.

* North Korean leaders remain resolute that the rocket they sent into space is a weather satellite. Yes, and the 2 million new tanks they commissioned are for traffic control.

* The House of Representatives ends its current session on Friday. Let's take a moment to reflect on all the accomplishments. Well, all we really need is 1/8 of a moment.

* British bookies are taking odds on what Prince William and Catherine will name their baby. The early favorites: Charles, Diana, Elizabeth and John. The long shots: Whoopi, Esmeralda, Starfire and Cookie.

* An apartment complex in southwest Omaha is testing dog feces for DNA to see which tenant didn't clean up after his canine. That's when you know your landlord is tough. Before you can move in, he demands to see a credit score, five character references and a sample of your dog's poo.

* On Thursday, NU coach Bo Pelini turned 45. If you're shopping for a belated gift, as always, go with the decaf.

* Either that, or he could use one garment that doesn't have a hood.

* There were two big earthquakes off the coast of Southern California. The ground was shaking so hard that a three-point shot by an L.A. Laker actually fell into the basket.

* A Saint Joseph's men's basketball player extended his middle finger toward the Villanova student section. The Saint Joseph's PR department was going to claim he was saying “We're No. 1," but that's a hard sell when your record is 5-3.

* Scottie Pippen is making his acting debut in a Chicago production of “A Christmas Carol.” No word yet on whether NBA Commissioner David Stern will be appearing in the role he was born to play – Scrooge.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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