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* The big story is the end of the world, the apocalypse, the end of times. But enough about the weather forecast.
* The official Omaha weather forecast is "You don't wanna know."
* If the forecast comes to fruition, 19-foot abominable snowmen will be roaming Farnam Street.
* Omaha is bracing for a significant snowstorm. The best thing about Omahans is we know how to drive in snow. Instead of two inches between our vehicle and the one in front of us, we leave three inches when it snows.
* Omahans who receive weather bulletins via email on Cox just got a message about an approaching hailstorm in 2010.
* Cox Communications customers can call the customer service line for a refund after their email service was out for three days. You think it was frustrating waiting for email service? Wait until you call the customer service line of a cable company.
* It was just announced that Kid Rock is coming to Omaha in March. The last time Kid Rock was in town, he hung out at the Joslyn and performed with the Omaha Symphony. Wait, I'm confused. He actually hung out at Hooters and mooned the crowd at the Red Sky Music Festival.
* All of a sudden, parents whose kids asked for Justin Bieber tickets don't feel so bad. They could have asked for Kid Rock tickets.
* The Kid Rock concert will likely feature hard liquor and cursing, and possibly mooning of the crowd. It's like your typical OPPD Board meeting.
* Mark Evans is the new superintendent of the Omaha Public schools. He is 53. He was 49 when the district began its search.
* President Obama is expected to nominate John Kerry for Secretary of State. Kerry lost to George W. Bush in the 2004 presidential race. This way, if Kerry messes up, Obama can say “It's George W. Bush's fault. Had he not defeated Kerry, we wouldn't be in this position today.”
* President Obama welcomed some Christmas carolers to the White House. You know about Obama's love for celebrities. The Christmas carolers were James Taylor and Shakira.
* The White House released images of President Obama and John Boehner discussing the fiscal cliff. Obama enjoys celebrities and television so much that Howie Mandel was brought in to ask, “Deal or no deal?”
* Obama's latest proposal would raise taxes on middle-class Americans. I remember the old days when presidents wouldn't break their campaign promises until after they were sworn in for another term.
* I wouldn't say President Obama had to give up a lot to get Republicans to agree to raise taxes, but John Boehner is now flying around the country on Air Force One.
* President Obama rejected John Boehner's fiscal-cliff fix called Plan B. Now this is not to be confused with the Newt Gingrich campaign during the GOP primaries – which was known to Republican insiders as Plan D.
* Mitt Romney's “47 percent” comment has been chosen quote of the year. Runner up was Candy Crowley's, “Go to your corner, Mitt, shut up, and let the president finish.”
* Courtney Love criticized Paul McCartney's performance with Nirvana at the 12-12-12 concert. Courtney Love questioning Paul McCartney's musicianship? That's like Mayor McCheese questioning Abraham Lincoln's political credentials.
* It's like Billy Ray Cyrus finishing a rendition of “Achy Breaky Heart” and then calling Bob Dylan's lyrics dumb.
* It looks like Omaha Storm Chasers mascots Stormy and Vortex are no longer a team. Vortex was just traded to Tampa Bay.
* Down in Orlando before the Capital One Bowl, the Husker football team is going to visit Disney World. The day after they go, the entire edition of Breaking Brad will consist of jokes comparing coach Bo Pelini to Grumpy.
* All seven Big Ten football teams are underdogs in their bowl games. It's gotten to the point where being a Big Ten school playing in the postseason is a mandatory 8-point deduction.
* I think the official statistician during the Monday Night Football game was a little too sarcastic. Next to turnovers, he wrote “Sanchez: Approximately a bazillion.”
* Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson is commenting on what it was like to beat the Cardinals 58-0 last week. Wilson said he felt like he was back playing for Wisconsin. Except for the part about coming out of the game with a big lead.
* The NHL lockout has passed Day 95 and Commissioner Gary Bettman said he was pleased with the process. Then he went on to praise the U.S. Postal Service's money management skills, the New York Jets' motivational tactics and tap water in Mexico.