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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* On Monday, President Obama formally nominated Chuck Hagel for Secretary of Defense. Hagel opponents in Congress have already dug up dirt on him. Get this: It turns out Hagel's real first name is Charles. “Chuck” is an alias.
* To get a feeling for how the confirmation hearings will likely go in this era of rancor, Obama and Hagel are planning to see “Texas Chainsaw 3D.”
* A little information on Hagel's background: In 1969, he worked as a talk radio host in Omaha. As far as dirt goes, it's going to be tough to top this one.
* Considering how much President Obama loves entertainment television shows, he had to be talked out of nominating a former cast member of “Hogan's Heroes” for Defense Secretary.
* Out of respect for the office of the presidency, Obama was heckled only three times while nominating Hagel.
* On Monday, Obama simultaneously nominated Hagel and John Brennan to lead the CIA. The goal: Confuse members of Congress who have trouble walking and chewing gum at the same time.
* Researchers in Washington state report they think they've found evidence of Bigfoot. This means we may find Bigfoot before we find Jim Flowers.
* State Sen. Ernie Chambers returns to Lincoln this week. There's no truth to rumors that along Chambers' route, Gov. Dave Heineman asked the state patrol to lay down those strips that causes flat tires.
* The Obamas just ended their vacation in Hawaii. President Obama played at least five rounds of golf. So it was a working vacation.
* In the BCS championship, Alabama overwhelmed Notre Dame. You know it's one-sided when Brent Musburger breaks out the Honey Badger stories in the second quarter.
* Executive suite seats for the Alabama-Notre Dame game were going for $60,000 on Stubhub. In Tuscaloosa and South Bend, you can buy four houses for that kind of money.
* Redskins coach Mike Shanahan is being criticized for playing quarterback Robert Griffin III too long. There may be something to it since on the last drive Griffin was calling plays from a gurney.
* The NHL lockout is over after the two sides settled a dispute that may have cost the league $1 billion – and those were just the dental benefits.