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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Beyonce, James Taylor and Kelly Clarkson are performing at President Obama's inaugural ball. To keep costs down, they're just using the celebrities who would normally be hanging around the White House on a Monday.
* Beyonce is singing the national anthem at the Obama inauguration. What better way for President Obama to show he's in touch with the middle class than to kick things off with a singer whose daughter has a $1 million playhouse?
* CNN is planning to cover the Obama inauguration from dawn Monday until the wee hours Tuesday morning. Fox News is planning to cover it from noon to 12:02 p.m.
* More than 900,000 people are expected along the inauguration parade route. To provide some semblance of the historical significance, the last time this many Americans gathered, it was in Times Square to see a ball drop and hear PSY do “Gangnam Style.”
* Joe Biden was sworn in on Sunday at his home. To give you an idea how low-key the vice presidential oath of office is, Biden was in his pajamas.
* There was a potential problem going into President Obama's inauguration – a shortage of port-a-potty along Pennsylvania Avenue. Mr. President, there are very few things on which Americans will not accept cutbacks ...
* The scary thing is we're looking at four more years of leadership from a team that couldn't arrange for enough port-a-pottys.
* The administration was incapable of arranging for enough port-a-pottys along the parade route. Just when I think I can't get less optimistic about a debt-ceiling solution.
* Not only is there a shortage of port-a-pottys, but for those earning over $400,000 per year, Obama installed pay toilets.
* An estimated 900,000 are expected at the inauguration. Or, as we call a crowd like that in Nebraska, “the spring football game.”
* At President Obama's inauguration, he was to be sworn in on two Bibles simultaneously. This is when you know there's concern about a president keeping the oath.
* At the kids' concert on Saturday, Katy Perry performed in an American flag outfit. After seeing Perry's dress, thousands of confused children in the audience stood and began reciting the Pledge of Allegiance.
* President Obama will be sworn into office at his inauguration on a Bible that was owned by Abraham Lincoln. The original plan was to use Bill Clinton's old Bible, but then someone discovered that six of the commandments had been crossed out.
* Michelle Obama has yet another new hairstyle. Man, she goes through hairstyles like her husband goes through cabinet members.
* Michelle Obama just turned 49. She wasn't feeling her age until she realized that figure is 38 numbers higher than Congress' approval rating.