* * * * * * * * * *
Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning edition.
* Westinghouse introduced a new 110-inch high-definition television set that costs $300,000. “Kids, there's no money left for you to go to college. But you're gonna enjoy tonight's episode of 'Wipeout' so much, it won't even matter.”
* You thought you were frustrated watching “Liz and Dick” before. “I paid 300 grand for this TV, and this is what I get?”
* The Nude Olympics are underway in Australia. I'm proud to say I live in a country where the only nude people at athletic events are the NFL cheerleaders.
* If right now you're saying, “Why do they get the Nude Olympics and Omaha gets stuck with the stupid U.S. Figure Skating Championships?” chances are you are not an intellectual.
* The Nude Olympics are getting underway in Australia. Michele Bachmann showed up the first day to protest the two-man bobsled.
* During a soccer match between a German team and a Turkish team, two Labrador Retrievers ran on the field. It wouldn't have been such a big problem if every time the goalie threw the ball to midfield, the dogs didn't bring it back.
* The Chicago Bears hired Montreal Alouettes coach Marc Trestman, who once worked with Jay Cutler to prepare him for the draft. He knew Cutler when Cutler was young and immature. Now Cutler is no longer young.
* Willie Nelson bought a golf club outside Austin. This will be the first golf course where you can smoke the rough.
* We received something like four-tenths of an inch of snow Tuesday morning. Just enough for the Channel 7 storm team to issue an "avalanche watch."
* During the inauguration Monday, ABC's George Stephanpoulos misidentified former NBA great Bill Russell as actor Morgan Freeman. You can't blame George for misidentifying Russell, who is roughly three stories taller than Stephanapoulos.
* President Obama gave quite an inspiring inaugural address. Halfway through, tea party members jumped up applauding, then said, "Oh, wait."