Breaking Brad: 88-year-old woman takes a chance on marriage - Omaha.com
Published Monday, January 28, 2013 at 1:00 pm / Updated at 11:32 am
Breaking Brad: 88-year-old woman takes a chance on marriage

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning edition.

* As of Monday morning, power was still out in parts of the Old Market. Not to worry, OPPD is on the case ... well, try not to worry too much.

* On Monday morning, OPPD's downtown headquarters was without power. I guess this is one way to get OPPD to work fast.

* Power was out in the Old Market overnight. Even if there were any open parking spaces in the Old Market you couldn't see them.

* The power outage was caused by underground fires. Apparently, due to the lack of accuracy of our local meteorologists, someone tried to smoke out the groundhog early.

* There is heavy fog in Omaha. Omaha commuters are having trouble seeing the cars in front of them, which is saying a lot when your bumpers are only three inches apart.

* During the televised SAG Awards Sunday night actress Jennifer Lawrence's dress ripped. Which of course meant that Bill Clinton missed Hillary's entire appearance on "60 Minutes."

* I hope you caught President Obama on "60 Minutes” Sunday night. This was one of the rare 37,402 TV appearances he will be making on 2013.

* President Obama and Hillary Clinton made a rare joint appearance on “60 Minutes.” Actually, with all the cutbacks, the show was called “44 Minutes.”

* Obama and Clinton sat down for a mutual love fest, I mean, interview.

* They compromised by appearing on “60 Minutes.” Obama wanted to appear on “The View” and Hillary wanted to go on “Divorce Court.”

* Obama is used to appearing on less-edgy programs. To get him on CBS, “60 Minutes” had to bring in guest interviewer Joy Behar.

* There was one embarrassing moment. In the middle of the Obama-Clinton interview, Bill Belichick wandered through the CBS studio. “You ready for me yet?”

* At the huge gathering of conservatives over the weekend, Paul Ryan called upon attendees to avoid internal battles. Whereupon he promptly fell through the trap door conservatives built for anyone they disagreed with.

* The White House appears desperate for a permanent solution to the debt ceiling. Yesterday morning, President Obama's new chief of staff logged on to Ask.com.

* Chris Christie is lashing out and saying that the theme of Obama's inaugural address was “My way or the highway.” For those of you new to politics, let me explain what's going on here. Christie is attempting a “bear hug mulligan.”

* Fox News has hired Democrat Dennis Kucinich as a commentator. I find it telling that Fox News hired possibly the shortest Democrat in the world.

* I guess the plan going forward is to arrange for Kucinich to stand next to the tallest Republican Fox can find.

* There's an allegation that the tribute band Mini Kiss recently lip-synced during a concert. This is the worst news yet for Beyonce. As entertainers go, she can now legitimately be compared to Mini Kiss.

* In Pennsylvania, an 88-year-old woman recently married for the first time. I'm trying to confirm that after being asked if she promised to stay together “till death do you part,” she shrugged and said, “Sure, why the heck not?”

* Danica Patrick recently said she rarely discusses her personal life with the media. She is a very private person. She said this as she was climbing into her car wearing nothing but a bustier and “racing spikes.”

* Chelsea soccer star Eden Hazard was ejected for appearing to intentionally kick a ball boy. Compared to this guy, even Lance Armstrong doesn't seem so bad.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

OPS bus, SUV collide; no students onboard at the time
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Lori Jenkins, charged as accessory in 4 murders, waives speedy trial
Iowa State servers hacked, nearly 30,000 SSNs at risk
New public employee pay data: Douglas, Lancaster, Sarpy Counties, plus utilities
2nd District House race: After 8 terms, Lee Terry knows how D.C. works — and doesn't
Bellevue man is killed at Minnesota dance hall after South Sudanese basketball tourney
Spring corn planting still sputters in Nebraska, Iowa, other key states
Nebraska banking and finance director to retire
19-year-old killed in one-vehicle crash at 72nd & Shirley
Gov. Heineman vetoes bill to ease restrictions on nurse practitioners
U.S. Senate race: State Auditor Mike Foley defends Shane Osborn against ad campaign
Public defender to represent Nikko Jenkins in sentencing
Mid-America Center on track for lower operating loss
Bluffs City Council approves dozens of new numbered street lights
National Law Enforcement Memorial Week set for May
Ted Cruz backs Pete Ricketts' campaign for governor
Omahan charged with 5th-offense DUI after street race causes rollover
2 blocks of Grover Street closed
Safety board report blames pilot error in 2013 crash that killed UNO student, passenger
Omaha man accused in shooting ordered held on $75,000 bail
2 men charged with conspiracy to distribute meth held on $1 million bail each
La Vista plans meeting on sales tax proposal, 84th Street redevelopment
6-mile stretch of Highway 75 is the road not taken
Database: How much did Medicare pay your doctor?
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