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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* This is a new low. The forecast and the emergency snow removal policy in Omaha are now equally confusing.
* There is blowing snow throughout Omaha. That's the new public works strategy -- lay low and hope all the snow blows into Council Bluffs.
* More trouble for the OPS school board. There have been so many problems of late the “O” in OPS now stands for “Oh-oh.”
* Apparently new school board members were not sworn in by the first Monday in January, making their election void. OK, for the rest of their terms, I don't want to see any OPS board members issue any proclamations to crack down on school tardiness.
* Omaha Mayor Jim Suttle said when he pleaded for Omaha's $1.7 billion sewer overhaul bill to be reduced, he got “blank stares” from the EPA. It's the same blank stares you get when you ask an Omahan to name three of the candidates for mayor.
* The goal of Gov. Dave Heineman's proposed state tax elimination? Keep people from moving out of the state. That has certainly worked for our neighbor Wyoming, which has no income tax. In 2009, there were seven residents of Wyoming, now there are eight.
* There is a new debt ceiling debate. Because of what week it is, let's put it in Super Bowl terms. This is Debt Ceiling Debate XXXLVII.
* John Kerry was confirmed as secretary of state by a vote of 94-3. I don't think I've seen a tally of 94-3 since those vote totals for Deb Fischer over Bob Kerrey rolled in from western Nebraska counties on election night.
* Michelle Obama has a new Twitter account to chronicle her daily activities. Too bad Twitter wasn't around when Hillary Clinton was first lady. “Just finished the economic plan, tried to broker peace in the Middle East and decided which Thanksgiving turkey to pardon. Whew!”
* While visiting the White House with the NBA champion Miami Heat, LeBron James shouted “Mama, I made it!” Considering how much he loves basketball, Obama then threw his arm around LeBron and shouted the same.
* President Obama just gave his long-awaited speech on immigration. As he gave the speech, in the background, 23 illegal immigrants snuck into the country.
* A group of four Senate Democrats and four Republicans teamed up to formulate their own immigration plan. Because Democrats and Republicans are involved, we can be confident the plan will be both expensive and stupid.
* After a hiatus of several months, the revamped “Dallas” is back on the air. In the first episode, the oil barons try to cope with Obama's new taxes on the wealthy, and end up having to sell Southfork on eBay.
* Over a week ago, Mayor Rahm Emanuel asked residents of Chicago to go vegan. Here's the amazing thing -- Chicagoans haven't overthrown him yet.
* He asked Chicagoans to go vegan. He might have better luck with that in a city that is not built on stuffed crust and cheese.