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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Omaha is rated 17th in the nation for bedbugs. Not to worry, the chamber of commerce will spin this report into an “Omaha: Nationally Ranked in Nightlife” campaign.
* You know it hasn't been a great year when Nebraska is rated higher in bedbugs than in football.
* Even worse, we're ranked approximately 989th in snow removal.
* The number of bedbugs in Omaha has increased. If this is the first salvo in attempts to keep young people from leaving town, I find it lacking.
* Wednesday is National Signing Day. So that means schools and government buildings in Nebraska are all closed, right? No mail delivery?
* Tuesday was National Pancake Day. This proves we are becoming a nation of foodies. In February, we spend as much time honoring the pancake as we do our presidents.
* The group New Kids on the Block has re-formed. A touring schedule has yet to be announced, but I'm going to say two words that could make parents already dreading Justin Bieber's Omaha concert in July dread it even more -- “opening act.”
* They're getting up there. Instead of young love, now New Kids on the Block sings about male pattern baldness.
* I think the world was hoping for a New Kids on the Block reunion with about the same fervor as Zorinsky Lake is pining for a zebra muscle return.
* Chuck Hagel opponents are attempting to link him to an extreme group. Hagel is a former Omaha talk radio host -- I guess it doesn't get much more extreme than that.
* Beyonce's halftime show may be responsible for the Super Bowl blackout. This is part of the new “Blame Beyonce” wave that's sweeping the country. The official U.S. Postal Service response for the latest postage increase: “You wanna know why it's necessary? Ask Beyonce.”
* Actually, Republicans are claiming the lights went out in the Superdome after an errant Obama skeet shot hit the power grid.
* Iran has successfully launched a monkey into outer space. By launching a monkey into space, Iran affirms that it should be a threat to the U.S. around the year 4089.
* Reportedly the monkey did well in space. I think mostly he was just happy to be out of Iran.
* President Obama's top adviser David Plouffe outlined the plans for the next four years in USA Today. The scary thing is, all the president's plans for four years can be outlined in a single pie chart.
* Tea party activists may team up with Democrats to defeat Mitch McConnell in the GOP primary. When McConnell called for bipartisanship, I'm not sure this is what he had in mind.