* * * * * * * * * *
Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning edition.
* Have you heard the new slogan of the U.S. Postal Service? "Neither rain, nor snow, nor gloom of night will stop the mail ... just don't expect us to deliver on a Saturday."
* When the Postal Service announced it will stop Saturday mail delivery, young Americans said, "You mean all mail doesn't come via email or through a cell phone?"
* People attending the Grammy Awards on Sunday night have been ordered to make sure their "breasts and buttocks" are covered. So then there's no reason to watch.
* If you're keeping track, there's very little difference between the Grammy Award ceremony and a 7th grade prom.
* AIG considered suing the U.S. government over supposedly unfair terms of its government bailout. I forget what the “G” in AIG stands for, but we can rule out “Grateful.”
* The original Batmobile sold at an auction for $4.6 million. Let’s hope this has nothing to do for how Mayor Suttle plans to get around town during a second term.
* Russian President Vladimir Putin has granted citizenship to French actor Gerard Depardieu. Hey, I wonder if Putin would also take Adam Sandler and Lindsay Lohan?
* Depardieu wanted out of France due to high tax increases. Half an hour after he was granted Russian citizenship, a small plane carrying Grover Norquist, Wesley Snipes, Stephen Baldwin and Willie Nelson landed on Moscow Square.
* Iran successfully launched a monkey into outer space, which would have been worth bragging about if this was 1959.
* Next season in major league baseball, translators are going to be allowed on the mound for manager-pitcher conferences. We need a different rule: anyone who gets paid $20 million per year in the U.S. spends $180 of that for a remedial English class.
* Reportedly a new group may form -- Clean Professional Cyclists Against Lance Armstrong. I believe it’s one guy in Fargo.
* Tennis star Victoria Azarenka recently withdrew from a tournament due to an ingrown toenail from a bad pedicure. You may recall that the last time this happened to an athlete it was A-Rod in the ALCS.
* I think the perpetrator in the Manti Te’o case should face public indignation, severe punishment and punitive retribution. He was just interviewed by Dr. Phil. OK, that oughta do it.