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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* One forecast calls for 23 inches of snow this weekend in New York. If Omaha got that much snow, it'd take nine months to clear the side streets.
* Over 20 inches of snow is expected in the upper northeast one week after the groundhog predicted an early spring. I only hope this doesn't make Americans lose faith in the ability of a rodent to make complex meteorological forecasts.
* Two feet of snow is predicted for New England. If predictions back there are similar to in Nebraska, New England can expect about an inch and a half.
* One of the big failings of Americans is that many of us fail to appreciate what we have. For that reason, I plan to spend most of Saturday beside my mailbox savoring the fact there's something inside it.
* Nebraska had a good Signing Day in part because coaches emphasized the loyalty of Nebraskans. Let's hope none decommit after learning that Deb Fischer said she cannot support Chuck Hagel's nomination as secretary of defense.
* Fischer said it wasn't a decision she made lightly. That always sounds better than saying, “It was just off the top of my head. Maybe because Hagel rhymes with Slagel.”
* The two Texas senators, Ted Cruz and John Cornyn, have suggested they might filibuster the approval of former Neb. Sen. Chuck Hagel as defense secretary. Guys, c'mon -- Nebraska leaving the Big 12 happened two years ago. That's water under the bridge.
* A long line of organizations lined up Wednesday night to testify against Gov. Heineman's tax relief plan. Around 11 p.m., representatives of the Kansas Chamber of Commerce and the New Mexico Tourism Board spoke out. “Now, just a second.”
* One of Rick Sheehy's “phone friends” has lost her job with a pro-agriculture group. Let's hope all of his purported girlfriends don't lose their jobs -- this could drive the national unemployment rate up eight-tenths of a percent.
* There is a big fake birth certificate scandal in south Florida, where the faux birth certificates were nearly impossible to detect. President Obama is promising to look into it. As a matter of fact, I believe he's flying there personally this weekend.
* National Signing Day is over. Schools always try to keep the names of their recruits top secret. Of course, that's so Urban Meyer doesn't poach them.
* At his Signing Day press conference, Bo Pelini was sporting a large red bump on his forehead after walking into a “low hanging pole.” At least it's red! GBR!
* After running into the pole, Coach Pelini set a world record by uttering the first ever eight-syllable cuss word.
* Newly arrived from Wisconsin, Arkansas Head Coach Bret Bielema has to deal with a recruit whose mother stole his letter of intent because she wants him to stay close to home. I'll bet right now a group of drunk people in cheeseheads are looking pretty good to Bret.
* Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice is OK after falling out of a truck during the Ravens' victory parade. Other Ravens would have caught Rice, but their arms were tired from holding on the last play of the Super Bowl.
* CBS NFL analyst Dan Marino has admitted fathering a child with a CBS employee. See, this is what happens when you have a Super Bowl blackout.
* The International Horse Jumping show is coming to Omaha. C'mon, is that necessary? Every horse could be from Treynor, Iowa, and we're not going to notice.
* There is YouTube footage of a 17-month-old “golf phenom.” You know the toughest thing about being a 17-month-old golf phenom? Finding white belts and plaid pants that fit.