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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* With the two outdoor hockey games, the Creighton basketball game and the home and garden show, Saturday was insane downtown. I dubbed it “Park-ageddon.”
* It was so crazy downtown on Saturday that one hockey fan mistakenly ended up at the Home and Garden Expo and tossed a fish onstage during the chrysanthemum demonstration.
* There was thought given to running a shuttle bus between the Lancers game and the home and garden show, but then MECA realized there's nobody on Earth who'd be interested in both events.
* It was just a crazy, wild day downtown. Several booze-fueled scuffles broke out. And that was at the home show.
* The start of the second outdoor hockey game at TD Ameritrade Park was delayed for more than two hours because the mild temperatures turned the ice to slush. Rule of thumb: It's too warm for hockey when the Zamboni driver nearly drowns.
* This is the first time since Omaha was incorporated in 1857 that people complained it was too warm in February.
* Gov. Dave Heineman's two hearings on his plan to reduce taxes for Nebraskans have concluded. They really weren't hearings. Let's dub 'em what they really were – “Special interests on parade.”
* This week, a 150-foot asteroid is expected to buzz Earth. NASA urged Americans not to worry. Oh, we won't. We're way too busy preparing for a zombie invasion to care about a dumb asteroid.
* There is no reason to fear the 150-foot asteroid buzzing Earth, and I'm typing this column from under my desk strictly as a precaution.
* The odds of the asteroid striking Earth are infinitesimal. Still, there's a better chance of that than Heineman's tax cut plan passing.
* There was a big shocker at the Grammys on Sunday night. Someone I've actually heard of was nominated for “Best New Artist.”
* How about all those weird outfits at the Grammys? It looked like an ugly sweater party set to music.
* There was a rigid dress code at the Grammy's that stipulated “no breasts, no buttocks.” The same rule was in force at the Omaha Home and Garden Expo.
* This just in: On national signing day, scientists considered adding a second to the atomic world clock to give Tre'vell Dixon time to change his commitment three more times.
* According to a report, Beyonce may have had a rhinoplasty to prepare for the Super Bowl. After hearing that, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones told her, “You too?”