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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Retired astronaut Clayton Anderson, who has logged 167 days in space, is returning to Nebraska and hinted he may be interested in politics. This is perfect -- he can search for signs of intelligent life in the Nebraska Legislature.
* China just rang in its Lunar New Year with a barrage of fireworks. I guess one of the bottle rockets brought down North Korea's latest satellite and another took out Iran's monkey in space.
* In Brooklyn, N.Y., a sewage plant is offering a special Valentine's tour. Guys, you may want to clip this item and show it to your wife when you take her to Applebee's. “It could be worse.”
* I wouldn't say that Democrats in Congress love President Obama, but at one point during Tuesday's State of the Union address, they were doing the wave.
* It was a long State of the Union. During the speech, six more Obama cabinet officials resigned.
* At the beginning of the State of the Union address, Michelle Obama blew a kiss to Barack. There was a similar display of affection before a State of the Union during the Clinton administration, when Hillary nodded in Bill's general direction.
* Michelle Obama reportedly stunned in a Jason Wu dress. Only in America can we not remember anything about the State of the Union speech the next day except what designer the first lady wore.
* Three of the most conservative Supreme Court justices skipped the speech. Considering how Obama feels about TV, he quickly replaced them when Judge Judy, Judge Mathis and Judge Joe Brown.
* Apple CEO Tim Cook was President Obama's special guest at the State of the Union. Apparently Obama wanted to stand next to someone whose recent economic plan has been even worse than his own.
* Actually, Cook never made it to the speech. He used an Apple iPhone map to find the Capitol and instead ended up at a place called “D.C. Chili Dog Take-out.”
* Twitter lit up when Sen. Marco Rubio reached for a drink of water during his rebuttal. Which means one thing: Twitter users are a group of extremely bored people.
* Tea party members were largely absent from the State of the Union address. Instead, they convened at the Westminster Kennel Club Show to try and enforce their proposal that competitors be forced to wear doggy pants.