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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning edition.
* Something is just wrong when the Chuck Hagel secretary of defense selection process is 100 times less efficient than the method of determining semifinalists on "The Voice."
* President Obama just called the penny "obsolete." Not so fast, Mr. President. After all your new income and Obamacare taxes kick in, the penny will be what the wealthy have left from their checks as take-home pay.
* In North Korea, a huge rally was held to celebrate a nuclear test. This is effectively their Super Bowl.
* A women's professional golf tournament in Australia was delayed by a horde of stampeding kangaroos. OK, now here's where things start to get a little strange...
* The strangest thing was when the Golf Channel commentator whispered, "Now I'm about to be trampled by a six-foot kangaroo."
* A new list is out of the toughest jobs. No. 3: lumberjack. No. 2: coal miner. Number one: P.R. director for Carnival Cruise Lines.
* The new “Die Hard” film is set in Russia. Apparently the Bruce Willis character has to rescue a group of people trapped with plates of Russian food.
* Notre Dame men’s basketball defeated Louisville in five overtimes over the weekend. The game lasted so long, during it there were six different No. 1-ranked teams in college basketball.
* There is a rumor that due to likely cold temperatures at next year’s Super Bowl in New York, there may not be a halftime show. Ignore those rumors. There will be a halftime show. Instead of Beyonce or Madonna, it’ll be Eddie Smith and his Dancing Polar Bears.
* The Detroit Pistons’ Brandon Knight claims Metta World Peace punched him. Because the incident happened in Detroit, the Lions immediately tried to sign World Peace to anchor their defense.
* My favorite actual headline of the year so far: “Pistons’ Knight Claims World Peace Punched Him.”
* Northwestern University officials held a joint press conference with the Cubs to announce that some future Wildcats’ football games will be played at Wrigley Field. The Cubs and Northwestern football will share a venue. Well, at least it won’t need a trophy case.
* The Caltech baseball team just broke a 228-game losing streak. Caltech had lost 228 straight games. OK, this should put the lie to that myth about how the smartest team wins the baseball game.
* The 2014 Winter Olympics will be held in Russia. You know the best thing about holding an Olympics in Russia? Nobody tries to defect.