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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Friday kicks off the beginning of Beer Week in Omaha. It says everything you need to know about the importance of beer in town that we have Beer Week and Presidents’ Day.
* I’d like to clear up a misunderstanding. The hundreds of people milling about downtown Thursday night with beer in hand had nothing to do with Beer Week and were in fact leftover North Dakota fans from last weekend’s hockey doubleheader.
* Americans spent an estimated $815 million on their pets for Valentines Day. The good news: Americans are spending again. The bad news: they’re buying romantic gifts for Fido.
* The White House received something like 25,000 Valentine cards. I cannot confirm that 24,000 were from Candy Crowley.
* President Obama took Michelle out for a Valentine’s dinner at an “upscale” D.C. restaurant where dinners average $225 per person. Considering the financial state of this nation, couldn’t they have just called Jimmy John’s?
* For planning purposes, the Nebraska Furniture Mart and Crossroads are lumped into the same “Economic Development Zone.” That strikes me as similar to grouping IBM and Dollar General into the same category.
* American Airlines and US Airways are merging to form the largest airline in the nation. To give you an idea how troubled the airline industry is, this deal is worth $11 billion. Warren Buffett buying some ketchup was valued at $23.3 billion.
* Republicans are filibustering Chuck Hagel’s defense secretary vote. A filibuster is when you drone on essentially saying nothing. Or, as that was called on Tuesday, “the GOP state of the union rebuttal.”
* Republicans have succeeded in delaying the Chuck Hagel confirmation vote. Still, one Democrat on Capitol Hill was happily jumping up and down, high-fiving everyone in sight. It was John Kerry after he heard that Warren Buffett is buying Heinz Ketchup.
* President Obama said he’s looking forward to the tax debate with Republicans. Yes, and I’m looking forward to my root canal on Tuesday.
* According to a new report, George Washington did not want to become president of the United States. So for the first time, Mitt Romney can legitimately be compared to George Washington.
* Democrat Dennis Kucinich said he’s excited to officially assume his new role at Fox News, which I believe is “designated whipping boy.”
* Fox News will not renew the contract of contributor Dick Morris. It is immediately unclear if this has anything to do with Morris’ pre-election prediction being off by 9,000 percent.
* To improve its pre-election prognosticating, Fox is replacing Morris with Sven, the Election-Predicting Mule.
* Morris is fading into obscurity. That’s right, he just appeared on CNN.