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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* If you haven’t heard the weather forecast, Omaha is expecting approximately 8 feet of snow on Thursday. It’s so bad, Omaha police are already towing cars from emergency snow routes just to get warmed up.
* Rumor has Jim Cantore possibly headed to Omaha this week. He’s from that channel that does nothing but cover weather. I mean, the one besides KETV.
* The Omaha forecast is so bad, plans are underway for a new Street of Dreams that is nothing but igloos.
* The EPA is going to assist Omaha in developing green programs. If things go according to plan, a year from now, our streets will be flooded with water bursting from environmentally-friendly mains.
* In a surprise announcement, Sen. Mike Johanns said he will not seek reelection. Bob Kerrey, driving to his new job in San Francisco, immediately threw the car into reverse and was last seen moving 80 mph backward through Scottsbluff.
* Sen. Johanns said: “With everything in life, there is a time and a season,” which led to speculation he’s either leaving to be Nebraska’s next poet laureate or the new lyricist for The Birds.
* Johanns also said, “It’s time to close this chapter of our lives.” Based on Johanns’ personality, it’s a bedtime story.
* Gov. Dave Heineman is considering running for the Senate. Sure, after working with the Nebraska Legislature all these years, he’s ready for the challenge of dealing with a wealthier group of incompetents.
* President Obama wrapped up a long weekend stay at a secluded Florida yacht and golf club. With the massive sequester cuts, next year he’ll be inside a camper at a KOA in Sheboygan.
* Obama spent the long Presidents’ Day vacation at a secluded resort in Florida with a group of buddies. I believe this would be the first presidential mancation.
* President Obama played 18 holes with Tiger Woods. Just think, a man who has devoted his entire life to golf. And then there’s Tiger.
* MLB.com reported details on President Obama’s Florida vacation. Sure, somebody had to since CNN was devoting 24 hours of coverage to a mechanical problem on a cruise ship.
* President Obama recently weighed in on health care, the Middle East and our system of taxation. And Vice President Joe Biden weighed in on whether it was the correct decision to remove the iron from the Monopoly board.
* Sen Marco Rubio is visiting the Middle East. To prove they have a sense of humor, Middle Eastern leaders are arranging to have 35 bottles of water next to Rubio whenever he speaks.
* Dick Cheney just praised President Obama. Can someone quick check and see if the Earth is still spinning?