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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* On the news, I saw another one of those doomsayers talking about the end of the world. Or, as we call them in Omaha: “TV meteorologists.”
* If you have not heard, a major snowstorm is expected Thursday. Channel 7 is calling it “Winter Armageddon IX.”
* For those who haven't been following the news, western Nebraska is anticipating snow the approximate height of Chimney Rock.
* The big challenge will be finding a measuring device capable of recording how much snow falls.
* There is a 100 percent chance of snow Thursday. To put things in perspective, there's only a 99.9999 percent chance that the next day is Friday.
* As of Wednesday morning, it was up in the air whether Omaha would declare a snow emergency. Of course, Omaha TV meteorologists declared one two weeks ago.
* On Valentine's Day, an Alliance, Neb., man won $1 million at a South Dakota casino. This is the first recorded instance ever of a man having a good Valentine's Day.
* Federal budget cuts that go into effect March 1 could cost OPS up to $4 million. Let's just hope this doesn't mean OPS has to lay off any more of its people assigned to vet incoming superintendents.
* Neb. State Sen. Charlie Janssen announced he's running for governor and quoted Abraham Lincoln's philosophy. A member of the Nebraska Legislature quoting Abe Lincoln strikes me as similar to when the guy at karaoke night tries to sound like Adele.
* Now that Mike Johanns won't seek reelection, the Nebraska Republican Party is reportedly seeking a candidate less conservative than Deb Fischer. That basically eliminates Barry Goldwater and no one else.
* One person is begging Johanns to reconsider his decision not to run. And that person is Bob Kerrey's wife.
* Michelle Obama just appeared on “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.” President Obama golfed with Tiger Woods. They're America's First Star-struck Couple.
* During a speech in Wyoming, Dick Cheney criticized President Obama. Obama said he will have no response until he does a little research and learns just what is this thing called “Wyoming.”
* Dick Cheney called Obama's cabinet nominees “second rate.” After dealing with the seventh- and eighth-rate people serving us in Congress, the American people are thrilled with our second-rate cabinet members.
* According to a new study, the larger a CEO's signature, the bigger his ego tends to be. I understand that Donald Trump's signature takes up one-third of Manhattan.
* There was just a nationwide frozen pizza recall. What happened -- did something edible fall into the mix?