* * * * * * * * * *
Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Flu season in Omaha is finally on the wane. So if you're nauseated, it's probably because you finally got a good look at our mayoral candidates.
* There is a new survey out of the 10 worst cities for driving. No. 1 is Brooklyn, N.Y. Except after snow -- then I'm pretty sure it's Omaha.
* Work has begun to widen 144th Street at Blondo. I wouldn't say it's now tough to navigate the intersection, but if it had been like this when Lewis and Clark passed, they would have gotten discouraged, turned around and gone home.
* Nebraska Attorney General Jon Bruning said he plans to seek re-election. There will be a formal ceremony later when he throws his money belt into the ring.
* The slogan of Bruning's re-election campaign: “Don't let the gravy train stop.”
* Dennis Rodman and three members of the Harlem Globetrotters are back from North Korea, where they participated in an exhibition game. Basketball is a little different in North Korea. If whistled for traveling, you're sent to prison for two years.
* MSNBC is denying allegations that it is “pro-Obama.” How could anyone think that? Just because MSNBC anchors are still wearing their “Obama in 2012" T-shirts and referring to everybody who disagrees with the president as “political maggots”?
* Just because the MSNBC crew set off fireworks after announcing Obama is up in the approval polls hardly makes them pro-Obama.
* And just because the “B” in MSNBC now stands for “Barack” hardly makes 'em pro-Obama.
* Mitt and Ann Romney just sat down for their first interview since the election. In a new trend, they blamed losing the election on the OPS Board.
* At a press conference, President Obama mixed up “Star Wars” and “Star Trek.” Good thing that didn't happen before the election, or it would have cost him the all-important nerd vote.
* Congress has been unable to agree on sequestration. The only way this gets more frustrating is if the House releases its own 'Harlem Shake' video.
* President Obama is speaking out on gay marriage. To goad Republicans, he's claiming it's now mandatory under the sequester.
* Some Republicans reportedly pleaded with Ann Romney to run for Senate in Massachusetts. I don't know, last time a Romney had to be dragged kicking and screaming into an election, it meant President Obama was re-elected.
* Geraldo Rivera may run for Senate in New Jersey. Hey, all you Republicans in New Jersey who said you couldn't imagine a bigger political embarrassment than when Gov. Chris Christie hugged President Obama, prepare yourselves, a bigger one may be coming.
* Geraldo may run for Senate. All of a sudden, 'Joe the Plumber' is starting to look overqualified for politics.
* I read that former New York City Mayor Fiorello La Guardia is credited with developing the thong underwear. This shows you how low standards are for our politicians -- you invent the thong, and they name an airport for you.
* The American people have spoken: a cat will replace the iron on the Monopoly board. Monopoly pieces will now include both a dog and a cat. Apparently the country is not divided enough, we have to have a dog and cat competing at Monopoly.