Breaking Brad: Marijuana growers eligible for Colorado small business awards - Omaha.com
Published Wednesday, March 6, 2013 at 11:00 am / Updated at 1:18 pm
Breaking Brad: Marijuana growers eligible for Colorado small business awards

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.

* An ordinance has been introduced to the Omaha City Council that will increase the number of permits to sell fireworks. If this passes, we'll have fireworks stands opening inside other fireworks stands.

* Is this necessary? What happened -- did somebody find one person inside the Omaha city limits who doesn't already have a permit to sell fireworks?

* The Omaha City Council is considering a proposal to allow more permits to sell fireworks. Apparently me getting an average of two hours of sleep per night the week before the Fourth of July is just too much.

* After saying that he plans to seek re-election, Jon Bruning said: “I love being attorney general. I'm having a great time doing a job that I love.” That beats his second choice of statement: “I'd be crazy not to run! The road to attorney general is paved in gold, ne-ha-ha-ha!”

* An Omaha couple has been indicted for allegedly maintaining a large marijuana growing operation. Instead, if they lived in Colorado, they'd be in the hunt for the small business person of the year award.

* I have a recurring nightmare that three days after a winter storm, Omaha side streets still aren't clear, and then a video emerges of the private contractors the city hires doing the 'Harlem Shake.'

* President Obama just nominated Sylvia Mathews Burwell to head the office of management and budget and Gina McCarthy to lead the EPA. Six other women are in line for top positions. It's not to refute allegations the Cabinet is a boys club. No, Obama is at home surrounded by lots of women -- he feels like he's on the set of “The View.”

* President Obama screened the new sitcom “1600 Penn” at the White House. It's about a dysfunctional first family. I hope the Clintons are getting royalties.

* Obama has been urging the Boy Scouts to allow gays to join, so far with little results. How can we expect Obama to wield influence over Congress when he can't influence the Boy Scouts?

* Some are criticizing the White House for craving publicity. I do think that having Michelle Obama announce the winner of "So You Think You Can Dance" via satellite is a bit much.

* The first impact of the sequester cuts are being felt with the White House public tours ending on Saturday. White House guards have been given strict instructions that no civilians, except for the ones that host daytime talk shows, are to be admitted.

* Joe Biden is livid. He said: “Now I'll never get inside the White House.”

* Ostensibly, the sequester is the reason the White House tour is ending. The real reason, though, may be that President Obama is trying to cover up turning the Blue Room into a huge putting green.

* Under the sequester, furloughed employees may include defense workers, airport personnel, bureaucrats, I.R.S. auditors ... well, OK, it's not all bad.

* To try and end the sequester, President Obama invited a group of Republican senators to dinner on Wednesday night. Of course due to sequester cuts, he's serving them spam and Cheese Whiz.

* Glenn Beck is involved in a feud with the WWE. If the WWE thought its wrestlers had big mouths...

* The WWE has invited Beck on the show to wrestle. He'll be the first talk show host who has to tone down his rhetoric to make a believable pro wrestler.

* Something is just wrong when we'll no longer see wrestling in the Olympics, but Glenn Beck may be competing in the sport on TV.

* The feud started with Beck's objection to a new wrestler called “Jack Swagger,” who's supposedly in the tea party. I only hope that getting mixed up with U.S. politics in 2013 doesn't harm the credibility of professional wrestling.

* Donald Trump lashed out at Beyonce for her suggestive moves during the Super Bowl halftime show. And this from a man in charge of a beauty pageant where the winner is selected largely on how she looks in a swimsuit and seven-inch heels.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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