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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* The “Hello Spring Festival” in Omaha has been postponed until further notice.
* I saw a group of birds returning to Omaha after flying south for the winter make an abrupt U-turn over Giles Road.
* I'm glad daylight-saving time just went into effect because the morning commutes in the Omaha snow were going a little too smoothly – we needed to do it in the dark.
* Oddly, no snow emergency was declared in Omaha. I guess the powers that be decided that having to figure out the Omaha snow emergency parking plan the same weekend we had to figure out how to move our clocks ahead was too much for Americans in 2013.
* Significantly less snow had been predicted. The Weather Channel is now naming winter storms. I believe this one was called “Wait, What?”
* The head of snow removal operations in Omaha said on Sunday, “We're hoping for some help from Mother Nature" on Monday. So this is Omaha's plan to clear side streets: Cross your fingers and pray for warming.
* There is a Subaru recall because some cars can start themselves. Just when I thought my morning drive to work in the snow couldn't get any weirder, I was passed by a Legacy with no driver.
* Omaha officials are claiming the snowplow drivers assigned to side streets were furloughed due to the federal sequester. I'm not buying it.
* Due to the cold, snowy weather in Omaha, Taylor Swift is wearing her shorts that fall all the way down to 11 inches above the knee.
* On Saturday night, Barry Switzer was in Omaha for the Tom Osborne tribute at the CenturyLink Center. If we could get Switzer to stay in Omaha through St. Patrick's Day, our budget problems are over.
* A man who faked a job as an airline employee at Eppley Airfield was sentenced to five years of probation. His ruse as an airline employee was discovered when someone noticed he was always on time and appeared to know what he was doing.
* A 49-year-old burglary suspect in Des Moines who tried to escape on foot was caught because his bulky snow pants slowed him down. I'm guessing police were able to ID him via the name tag his mother sewed into the mittens she tied to his coat.
* A Texas golf pro got into the Guinness World Records book for swinging the longest golf club, a 14-foot, 2.5 inch driver. If you missed it, not to worry. I look for Bill Murray to tee off with it in next year's Pebble Beach Pro Am.
* In the longest Caribbean Series final game ever in Mexico, the Mexican team defeated the Dominican Republican in 18 innings. To provide perspective, half of the fans who were there for the opening pitch had moved to the U.S. by the end of the game.
* Brazilian prostitutes are being taught English before the 2014 World Cup. This has to be difficult for all the English teachers who went into the profession because they wanted to make a difference.