* * * * * * * * * *
Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* The new Big East is reportedly signing a TV deal worth $500 million. After the story broke, the University of Texas took preliminary steps to become a Jesuit school.
* The lobbying efforts of Creighton President Timothy Lannon are credited with getting the Jays into the Big East. Contrast that with the equally impressive work of UNL Chancellor Harvey Perlman in his new “fake nose and glasses/whoopee cushion” video.
* Creighton's Ethan Wragge has been named to Cosmopolitan's “March Hotness” list. Wragge is now answering to his new nickname: “The Brad Pitt of 3-Pointers.”
* There were a lot of upsets on the first day of the NCAA Tournament. As far as my bracket goes, Punxsutawney Phil calling for an early spring is now only the second worst prediction of 2013.
* In historic NCAA Tournament blowouts, VCU beat Akron 88-42 and Syracuse walloped Montana 81-34. Kentucky players took time out from mourning their NIT loss to Robert Morris to say, “Those scores are laughable.”
* There is a possibility of another winter storm hitting Omaha this weekend. It's almost as if Mother Nature is going to keep giving Omahans snow until we learn to drive on it.
* “Still going 50 mph on slick streets? OK, here's some more.”
* At Wednesday night's mayoral forum at Anthony's Steakhouse, the crowd got a little rowdy. The forum was sponsored by KFAB. At one point, Kent Pavelka held back the audience with a water cannon.
* The forum was pretty much the political equivalent of the British soccer riot.
* The mayoral forum was at Anthony's Steakhouse. Rumors that Mayor Suttle left early to avoid the restaurant tax are unfounded.
* The candidates frequently lobbed wild accusations at each other. Does anyone really believe Dan Welch is responsible for the iron being removed from Monopoly?
* On Thursday, Twitter turned 7. Thank goodness for Twitter, or I'd have to go through life without knowing what Gary Busey had for lunch.
* At a ceremony to commemorate the 7th birthday of Twitter, the president of Twitter had a big speech planned, but was cut off after 140 characters.
* At one stop on his Middle East trip, President Obama was greeted by a throng of people so excited to see him, they were literally shaking and crying. And those were just the MSNBC reporters.
* President Obama was presented with a gift by Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu -- a 2,000-year-old stone. Then Obama gave Netanyahu something that's 2,000 years old -- a paper from the day Congress began debating the sequester.
* I won't say exactly what Obama plans to do with the 2,000-year-old stone, but he already has John Boehner's Christmas gift for next year.
* This is why they say being president is the toughest job in the world -- you have to look excited about receiving a 2,000-year-old stone.
* Michelle Obama is on the April cover of Vogue. If this works out, next she's going to be flexing on the front of “Muscle & Fitness.”
* In the Ukraine, three trained 'attack dolphins' escaped from a naval training facility. The way things are going, the attack dolphins will end up on a Carnival cruise ship chasing passengers down the lido deck.
* In science news, we are reportedly on the verge of being able to bring extinct species back to life, and science has pegged the exact age of the universe at 13.8 billion years. In other news, science has no idea if it will snow this weekend.