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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* On Tuesday night, Omaha's mayoral candidates will hold a forum at the Omaha Community Playhouse. With all the candidates for mayor on-stage at once, this is sort of like when the Playhouse produced “Oklahoma!” only with a larger cast.
* I thought I was watching an interesting television documentary about the Ice Age. Turns out it was a local news report on the arrival of spring in Omaha.
* Grand Island has grown enough to be considered a metro area. There is no truth to the rumor that Grand Island growth is due to people fleeing the Kearney Arch.
* Coming to Omaha on May 11 is the Illuminate Run, a 5K race held at night with competitors holding glow-in-the-dark devices. This should solidity Omaha's title as the “Weird Fun Run Capital of The World.”
* I'm thinking of starting the Spatula 5K, where competitors race three miles while flipping pancakes in a bunny suit.
* The rover Curiosity appears to have found that life once existed on Mars, although it probably was not intelligent life. So apparently they had a Congress up there, too.
* According to reports, Vice President Joe Biden racked up a $585K bill for a one night's stay at a luxury Paris hotel. So apparently he made a local phone call and helped himself to the mini bar.
* The national debt doubled overnight. We paid Joe Biden's hotel bill.
* To prove he's serious about sequester cuts, President Obama ordered Biden to get a Winnebago.
* When I heard someone racked up a hotel bill of $585,000 for one night, I said, “It's time for the College World Series already?”
* President Obama's NCAA Tournament bracket has outperformed that of 70 percent of Americans. I'm not sure I want a president who has that much time to study RPIs.
* Over the weekend, President Obama's limousine broke down in Israel. Now, it's being repaired by an out-of-town mechanic. You think the country has financial problems now.
* Obama went to the Middle East partly as a show of strength. I think that tends to be negated when you're in the backseat of a vehicle being pulled by a tow truck.
* In parts of the Middle East, prostitution is punishable by stoning, so of course the Secret Service didn't accompany Obama.
* On Fox News, Megyn Kelly announced she is eating for two. Five minutes later, Chris Christie came on the show and said, “You, too?”
* Due to sequestration, on April 7, the FAA is scheduled to close about 170 air traffic control towers at small and medium-sized airports. In a poll of everyone at the Lincoln Airport on a Monday afternoon, one passenger said he understands while the other -- well, they could only find the one passenger.
* President Barack and Michelle Obama were just interviewed by Vogue magazine. To conduct the interview, Vogue sent its chief political editor -- Cindy Crawford.
* In a Vogue magazine interview, President Obama compared his wife to Beyonce. Whereupon Mrs. Obama lip-synced “thank you.”