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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning edition.
* Another huge meteorite traveling twice the speed of light crashed into earth -- wait, my mistake, that was Ndamukong Suh's first dive on "Splash."
* Suh is so tough, he told 'em to drain the pool before his second dive.
* President Obama just called on Congress to tighten our nation's borders. A little different. Obama wants the borders tightened so next time he leaves, Dennis Rodman can't get back into the country.
* George W. Bush attended a Baylor NCAA women's basketball tournament game. I'm guessing he enjoyed Brittney Griner's "Dick Cheney-like intensity."
* A handler for Punxsutawney Phil is taking all the blame for the groundhog's inaccurate forecast for when spring will arrive. Based on my observation of Omaha weather, the correct answer is: Never. Spring is never coming.
* Someone stole almost $500,000-worth of jewelry from the hotel room of NFL star Shaun Rogers. That's almost enough to pay Biden's hotel bill for one night.
* In Indianapolis, after a couple got into a fight at Taco Bell, an Officer J. Burger responded. Wasn't this the pivotal scene in “Police Academy IV”?
* An Arby's customer in Asheville, N.C., discovered a 38-inch curly fry. This is when you know our eating habits are out of control -- people are using fast food to jump rope.
* In true American fashion, the customer immediately had the 38-inch curly fry super-sized.
* Kym Johnson and Ingo Rademacher were the first couple deemed “safe” on “Dancing with the Stars.” They were also the perfect couple for me to kick off my “Guess which one's the celebrity?” game.
* Andy Dick survived a round on “Dancing with the Stars.” He's now going by his new nickname: “The Florida Gulf Coast of dancing.”
* The CIT is under way. This is the college basketball postseason tourney equivalent of being the last kid picked for dodgeball.
* As he left the court after his team lost to La Salle in a close game, Ole Miss guard Marshall Henderson flipped off someone in the crowd with both hands. It would've been great if the TNT analyst wasn't looking up and said: “This is what college athletics is all about.”
* He flipped someone off with both hands. Normally, I'd be appalled at this type of behavior. But right now, I feel like this is what I'm going to do next year if I'm asked to enter a bracket.
* A fan wearing a LeBron James T-shirt ran on to the court during last week's Cavs-Heat game. Seeing a man on court who obviously loves LeBron, the guy was mistaken for any NBA referee.
* The 2004 World Series of Poker champion has been arrested in a prostitution sting in North Carolina. He had a full house, but now his wife and kids have moved out.