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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Happy Friday. It is a great day to be alive. Unless, of course, you had Gonzaga and Indiana making the finals in your NCAA Tournament bracket.
* Kid Rock performs at the CenturyLink Center on Friday night. Past Kid Rock performances in Omaha have included lots of onstage cursing, inappropriate remarks and one verified crowd mooning. So it's pretty much like any Omaha mayoral forum.
* There are only four days until the Omaha mayoral primary election. A quick weather prediction for the weekend: Mud. Lots of mud.
* The Omaha mayoral primary is April 2. It's a good thing we didn't have the election on that date in the past. Voters would have assumed their assigned polling place was an April Fools' joke.
* Douglas County Election Commissioner Dave Phipps predicts only an 18 percent voter turnout on Tuesday. Welcome to Omaha: where primary elections have less significance than new Chick-fil-A openings.
* In a desperate attempt to get voters to the polls, the city is considering offering free Omaha Beef tickets to anyone who votes.
* Phipps thinks only 18 percent of voters will turn out due to a lack of interest. This is basically the Crossroads Mall of elections.
* Opponents have been criticizing Mayor Jim Suttle for having a bike czar. Now, Hal Daub and Don Stenberg are blasting local leaders for not giving enough advance notice there was gonna be a new office called bike czar so they could run for it.
* Scientists have identified a star traveling at an amazing two million miles per hour. At first on radar, when they detected an object moving two million miles per hour, they thought it must be an Omaha commuter driving on snow.
* According to a new Gallup survey, the metropolitan area with the highest well being in the nation is Lincoln, Neb. I'm unsure of the criteria, but we can safely rule out recent football championships or men's NCAA Tournament basketball victories.
* Some disappointing news for youngsters: The Easter Bunny will be delayed. He's stuck on a Carnival cruise ship.
* Due to tough sequester cuts, the Easter Bunny is out, to be replaced by the Easter Mole.
* There will be a lot of Easter egg hunts this weekend. With the childhood obesity epidemic, kids will be swallowing the eggs whole the moment they find 'em.
* The courts have given final approval to a merger of American Airlines and US Airways, creating the world's largest airline. We have more to fear from this thing than we do from North Korea.
* American Airlines and US Airways are expected to combine their resources to create something that loses more money and more luggage than any entity in history.
* The Maryland State Senate passed a bill decriminalizing marijuana. You think a lot of dumb stuff came out of Washington, D.C., before? Just wait until Congress has a contact high.
* On the new CNN program “The Lead With Jake Tapper,” Florida Senator and potential 2016 presidential candidate Marco Rubio revealed that he does not have Justin Timberlake on his iPod. And I thought this was going to be just another fluff show.
* New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg wants to hide tobacco products where kids won't find them. How about inside their textbooks?
* Archeologists claim they have discovered proof in inbreeding in early man. We've always had proof of this, just look at the end zone seats at almost any NFL game.